Cause of Domestic Violence Prior to November

Cause of Domestic Violence

Prior to November 2, 1987, a good part of America was laboring under the myth that domestic violence was something that happened to poor people. This assumption had much to do with the fact that poor people utilized community resources to deal with domestic violence, while the wealthy had the resources to keep domestic violence, and its solution, a dirty little secret. However, on November 2, 1987 that myth was exploded. Responding to a phone call that a child had stopped breathing, the police found a dying little girl, a boy tied to a playpen with a length of rope, and a severely battered mother. The little girl, Lisa Steinberg, was later pronounced brain dead and the world began to understand what went on behind the doors of the Steinberg/Nussbaum home.

One of questions that the A Family Secret: The Death of Lisa Steinberg attempts to answer is what is the cause of domestic violence? In order to do this, the video gives the audience a lot of information about Joel Steinberg, and focuses on the extensive use of drugs by both adults in the Steinberg/Nussbaum home. However, the use of drugs does little to explain either why Joel Steinberg abused his children or why Hedda Nussbaum permitted the abuse. The answer to those questions is more complex than mere drug use.

To understand why Hedda Nussbaum did not intervene and protect her children, it is important to understand the culture of domestic violence in the 1970s and 1980s. At that time, it was a woman's role to be the perfect partner to her chosen male companion. Unhappiness in a relationship was seen as the woman's fault, and women were bombarded with advice from all types of media on how to get and keep their men happy. Furthermore, in domestic violence situations, the abuser constantly bombards the abused with the message that they have somehow brought the abuse upon themselves. Therefore, victims, like Hedda, permit the abuse because they believe they deserve to be abused.

However, even if a battered woman believes that she deserves to be abused, how can she permit an innocent child to be abused, without doing anything to stop it? In the case of Hedda and Lisa, Joel left the home to meet with friends, but Hedda did not even pick up a phone to get assistance for the child she considered her daughter. Hedda believed that doing so would reveal disloyalty to Joel, and her inaction was as much to blame for Lisa's death as Joel's beating was. It is impossible for a person who has not lived under a regime of domestic violence to understand what a battered woman is experiencing. Some have characterized the traits distributed by a battered woman as "learned helplessness" and indicate that women in battering situations learn a type of pessimism, which indicates to them that nothing they do will change the abuse in their family. Furthermore, when someone is under the absolute control of another person, taking independent action can be overwhelming, if not impossible. Watching the story of Hedda and Joel, it seems more like Hedda was over-optimistic; she was hoping to finally do the one thing that would end the abuse and create the happy family she desired. With Hedda, as with many abused woman, worse than the threat of another beating, or even her own death, was the idea that she might lose Joel. However abused Hedda may have been, and