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¶ … Kindness
At our group discussion on kindness earlier this month (I lead a monthly discussion group on the 10 Steps), we identified three kinds of kindness to focus on as we develop the habit of kindness. I thought I would share this part of the discussion with you.
Spontaneous Kindness
This is the sort of kindness that is in response to a perceived need or opportunity. You might see a colleague looking sad and ask if everything is all right. You might offer a helping hand to a neighbor. You might greet a person passing by with a smile and hello.
While driving a few months ago, I noticed a woman in a wheelchair on the sidewalk next to a van parked at the curb. The van had a ramp that was partially unfolded, but seemed to be stuck. The woman held something in her hand -- I couldn't tell if it was a control for the van or perhaps a cell phone. As I passed by, I looked for a driver or someone nearby who might be helping her, but I saw no one.
I continued another block or two wondering whether an offer of help would be appropriate or an unwelcome intrusion, but decided to circle back and see. I pulled over behind her van, got out, and asked her if she needed some help. Yes, she said. If I could just pull the bottom section of the ramp...
It was easy enough to do, requiring only a gentle tug. It took me less than a minute from the time I stopped till I was back on my way.
As we go through our day, there are many opportunities we have to lighten someone's burden or to brighten someone's day. See how many you can find.
2. Planned Kindness
There are many ways to plan kindness. You can plan for a certain time period -- a day, a week, a month. You can identify any number of acts of kindness during that period. The point is to plan in advance specific acts of kindness you will do for identified recipients.
When my daughter was in first grade, her teacher called me one afternoon to tell me that she had been part of a group of children who were cruelly teasing a classmate about his severe allergies and the accommodations that were necessary to keep him safe. I couldn't believe that MY child would act like that. (Can anyone relate?)
I sat her down in her time out chair and laid out her consequences. "Peter is now your new best friend. If anyone teases him, you will defend him. For the next two weeks, you will sit in this chair for five minutes every morning before you go to school, and you will plan three nice things to do for him that day. Then…
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