Mindfulness and third-wave psychology as alternatives to affirmations in life coaching

Affirmations and other signature practices of the self-help movement "are rarely based on even one iota of scientific evidence," (Williams, 2013). In fact, some psychologists are starting to believe, based on evidence, that affirmations can do more harm than good, especially in people with low self-esteem (Williams, 2013). As Grant points out, affirmations can create cognitive dissonance between what one wants (the future) and what one has now. Rather than use affirmations, is more productive to practice mindfulness in the way Grant (2013) and the Third-Wave Psychologists are increasingly starting to recommend.

Third-wave psychologists have broken from the view holding that affirmations and cognitive-behavioral therapy are effective, instead using simpler tools like mindfulness. Mindfulness encourages the person to accept negative thoughts, recognize uncomfortable feelings, and work on a proactive program for change. Rather than being based on wishful thinking as affirmations often are, mindfulness is based on recognizing the tools one has now, developing awareness, and gradually shifting one's perspective. Grant (2013) suggests that people can create an "experience of reality" but not reality itself. The difference seems small, but it can be huge, as shifting one's attitude and perspective can indeed bring about a whole new consciousness.

Grant (2013) provides a prime example of how Third-Wave methods can be applied to life coaching by underscoring the importance of taking small but concrete steps to achieve a goal, such as wealth. If a client feels a need for greater financial security, a traditional affirmation is not going to make the client feel any better and nor is that affirmation going to bring the person money. It is scientifically impossible for a self-affirmation to create actual wealth. What is possible, as Grant (2013) points out, is to "feel rich" by (a) taking stock of what one has and appreciating it rather than wishing for more; (b) asking "what luxuries are possible right now" and indulging in luxuries that are within budget; (c) make treating the self a regular practice to the point where one feels rich.

Third-wave psychology is based on exactly the same principles: "focusing less on how to manipulate the content of our thoughts (a focus on cognitive psychotherapy) and more on how to change their context," (Williams, 2013). Rather than focusing on the content of thoughts, as affirmations do, the goal should be to reposition the importance of thoughts in the consciousness. In some ways, the Third Wave method can coincide with the traditional self-help mode of using self-affirmations. For example, one can acknowledge feelings of financial insecurity and still focus on how to achieve greater luxury and sensations of wealth. It is possible to have negative thoughts and still create a positive reality, using constructive goal setting and establishing reasonable goals too. Affirmations often fail because they are unrealistic, vague, or not even in accordance with one's personal value system. Practicing awareness permits the uncovering of genuine desires that can help the client refocus.