Al-Anon the Open Discussion Group

Al-Anon

The open discussion group of Al-Anon that I attended proved a very eye-opening experience. The nature of the group itself very much reflected the lives and issues that the family members and friends of alcoholics gathered there were facing. The open nature allowed people to attend when they liked and stop whenever they wanted, or to attend sporadically. There were many regulars in attendance, and it was also clear that there were several total newcomers (myself included). There was also one man, Doug, who apparently attended only when the situation with his wife (ex-wife, actually, but with partial custody of their two children) grew especially bad. There was a wave of initial sympathy from the regulars towards him when he walked in the door; his presence was enough to make it known that things were worse.

This leads to an interesting observation on the connection of alcoholism with other disorders. It has long been noted that alcoholism has an exacerbating effect -- possibly even a causal one -- on depression in alcoholics (Janssen, 2007). Though one could not claim a truly medical link, there is also a direct connection between alcoholism and depression (or similar symptoms) in the families and friends of alcoholics. The stress and helplessness that most of those present at the meeting felt by their own admission bordered on depression. Accepting the clinical definition of depressions as "a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for an extended period of time" certainly applies to almost all members of Al-Anon; feelings of sadness, anger, and frustration that interfere with daily life on a regular basis are the hallmarks of dealing with an alcoholic friend or family member (RightHealth, 2008). It is little wonder, then, that the people at this meeting, especially the newcomers, exhibited many of the typical signs of depression and general fatigue.

The group interacted like many support groups, in ways that were specifically meant to combat depressive feelings with networks of support and solution, to counter the feelings of isolation and helplessness that typify both depression and the effects of alcoholism and alcoholics. In alcoholics, depression is often exacerbated by withdrawal of the support of friends and family (Janssen, 2007). This is one of the reasons Al-Anon defines alcoholism as a "family disease," and determines that truly effective treatment must involve the entire network of the alcoholic's support groups (Al-Anon, 2006). This concept also applies to the family and friends of alcoholics, who must also feel a sense of support and assistance with their own struggles.

Susan was one of the speakers at this meeting. She had been coming to Al-Anon meetings for years, and very candidly shared -- due to repeated experience, I suppose -- the details of her father's alcoholism, including the abuse he inflicted on her during his prolonged periods of extreme inebriation. These experiences left Susan feeling powerless and alone in the world for many years, and resulted in severe depression and substance abuse problems of her own. This clearly illustrates the depressive cycle that often plays out in instances of alcoholism, both in the alcoholics themselves and in the people around them. Depression is a disorder that affects almost everyone connected, whether directly or indirectly, to alcoholism. The very nature of the disease, according to the twelve steps of both Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon, is insurmountable without the aid of a "higher power" (Al-Anon, 2006). One could argue that such an attitude actually increases feelings of helplessness in regards to alcoholism, which could actually deepen depression rather than alleviating it by mediating responsibility.

Still, both of these programs have proven effective in helping those associated with or directly suffering from alcoholism, and Susan credits Al-Anon and some specific members she met at her first meeting with identifying and accepting her particular problems. "All I needed was someone to tell say, 'Yeah, I've been there, too,'" Susan said, "and that's what I found here." This attitude was typical of many of the older members present at the meeting; he almost total experience of isolation, difference and strangeness, and total helplessness could jus as well have come from a depression support group. Though these people had a specific real-world reason for their mental distress, their symptoms were no less chronic or clinically viable than those suffering from depression in more commonly recognized situations.

Doug, too, is an example of depression at work in the family of alcoholics. The real-world manipulation that his ex-wife practiced with the couple's children and money would be enough to drive most people to the brink of sever depression, if not right into it. This was not seemed to get Doug down the most, however. With some encouragement, he shared that it was not these details that he found difficult to deal with -- these were practical matters, and though no less meaningful for that at least they could be understood and grappled with in concrete ways. The complete change of personality that had appeared in the woman he married, however, continued to bother him immensely even years after his divorce had been made final. Such obsessive fixation can be a hallmark of depression, and Doug was not the only person at the Al-Anon meeting to evince this (RightHealth, 2008). In fact, coming to understand the alcoholic and forgive them and oneself is one of the main goals of Al-Anon (Al-Anon, 2006).

Dave, a younger man with more enthusiasm than know-how, was the titular leader of the meeting. However, he seemed quite willing to let the older and more experienced attendees really keep things rolling, and it quickly became clear that his role as leader came from a spirit of pure compassion and companionship, and extended only as far as organization. He was very good at being inclusive, making sure everyone there was acknowledged individually and offered the opportunity to speak. He also did not exhibit ny of the arrogance so typically associated with leadership, especially (though perhaps unfairly) in youth.