Alienation, Self-Identity, and Hope Discovered

Alienation, Self-identity, and Hope Discovered in "Where I'm Calling From"

Alienation, individuality, and hope are essential aspects of life. The three hold hands in Raymond Carver's short story, "Where I'm Calling From." In this story about a struggling alcoholic, Carver demonstrates how people can move from one stage in life to another, struggling to discover or rediscover themselves. The narrator in this story is on the brink of alienating everyone in his life. The fact that he is at a treatment facility reinforces the notion of alienation but it also triggers self-reflection and hope. The narrator embarks on a journey of self as he dries out and listens to J. p.'s stories. Being alone triggers memories and those memories trigger a need to be the happy person he once was. Carver shows us how sometimes the most insignificant of things, such as listening to someone talk incessantly about nothing, can bring someone to a place of reflection. The alienation in this story is necessary for the narrator to clear his mind and this allows him to not only remember who he was but also yearn to be that person again. Carver weaves alienation and self-identity together in this tale of hope.

Alienation becomes a significant theme in the story. The drying-out facility is by its nature a place that alienates its visitors from the outside world. The narrator and J.P. are brought to the center by women with whom they have failing relationships. It as if each has reached the proverbial "rock bottom" and must now face the reality that they cannot go on living as they have been. The men are not forced to be there but they have come to realize that they are "first and foremost a drunk" (278). The narrator has not spoken with his girlfriend has dropped him off and is reluctant to do so because she might have bad news for him in regard to her health. While it might do both of them good to speak with one another, neither has reached out. The narrator has alienated himself from his wife and, as a result, left things unfinished with her like he has with his girlfriend. While he stays at Frank Marin's, he realizes that he needs to get certain areas of his life in order and that requires talking to these women.

Being away from the alcohol has allowed him to realize this as he sits on the porch listening to J.P. ramble on. Alienation is significant in this story because Carver demonstrates that even though being alienated from the ones we love is one of the worse things that can happen to an individual, it is often the result of something we do to ourselves, such as becoming an alcoholic.

The theme of alienation brings us to the search for individuality. While the narrator realizes that he needs others, he also realizes that he needs to be clear on who he thinks he is so that he will not end up like Tiny or the traveling businessman who blacks out all the time but denies he is an alcoholic. The narrator is forced to consider who he is and what alcoholism is doing to him when his girlfriend drops him of and says, "Guess who's here" (289). It is also interesting how the narrator identifies with his sense of self when he remembers a Sunday morning with his wife. When he catches a glance of the landlord outside the window, he remembers how a "wave of happiness comes over me that I'm not him - that I'm me and that I'm inside this bedroom with my wife" (295). The conclusion of the story leads us to believe that he has found a single memory that he can identify with as he watched J.P. And his wife reconcile. The single moment of happiness he remembers is enough to compel him to try to communicate with his wife and girlfriend and become the man he used to be and the man he wants to be. He can recover who he is by reaching out to those in his life. Individuality is often destroyed with alcoholism because alcoholics tend to feel that they cannot exist without a drink. The fact that the narrator wants to try to improve signals that he has rediscovered a strong sense of identity and as ready to live without alcohol.