Kindness it May Sound Cliched, but I

¶ … Kindness

It may sound cliched, but I believe that kindness is a self-perpetuating cycle. When I take positive steps to improve the lives of others, this can inspire them to go forward and take such steps themselves. In such a way, acts of kindness can grow exponentially throughout a family, community, or nation.

I recently had the opportunity to start a chain reaction of kindness when volunteering with my daughter's cheerleading squad. I have known most of the girls on the squad for years, many of them since they were little girls themselves. Now that they are adolescents, they are prone to the high emotional volatility that plagues all teenagers. This sometimes means that when they are under stress or feeling low, they turn on each other instead of constructively looking for a positive outlet for their emotions. After my daughter came home in tears after several practices, I learned that several of the girls were making fun of her hair. Of course, it didn't help to tell my daughter that I thought she was beautiful -- a mother's love is always suspect to a teenage girl. Instead, I suggested to the cheerleading coach that a team-building exercise might help to boost their confidence and their relationships with each other. The girls and I ended up volunteering at a local youth shelter with a friend of mine who is a beautician. Together, we did the hair and makeup of over a dozen young ladies who had been living under very difficult circumstances and hadn't had the chance to get their nails or hair done in a very long time, if ever. This allowed my daughter to realize the joy that comes from helping other people feel good about themselves, and also allowed the girls who had made fun of her to find an outlet for some of their angst. It was with great pleasure that I watched my daughter and the girls who had bullied her work together to help a young homeless girl feel pretty. This might seem like a somewhat superficial event, with its emphasis on external beauty, but I believe that if you feel good on the outside, you can feel better on the inside. Several of the girls, including my daughter, have since gone back to the youth shelter to visit some of the girls who live there, and they are all well on their way to developing strong friendships that will hopefully carry them all through their difficult teenage years.

Similarly, I was able to demonstrate the importance of kindness for my son, who plays on his high school football team. Although the boys are dedicated to their sport, their team has been on something of a losing streak as of late. This has been very demoralizing for all of the players, and had begun to affect their relationships with one another. I noticed that they had begun to blame each other for their poor performance rather than working together to find ways to improve their game. Together with some of the other parents, I organized a team camping weekend for the players, coaches, and a few parents. At this retreat, the boys were encouraged to develop positive relationships with each other and refrain from negative language and attitudes. They also did a number of wilderness exercises that required them to work together. Since they came back, they have largely been behaving in a much kinder way towards one another. There are less insults exchanged on the field and in the locker room, and they managed to win their most recent game.