International Students and Family

¶ … graduate studies in the USA, and have been here for 8 years. It was difficult for me to interact with the American people because it was a polarized interaction. When I first landed on American soil, I was hosted by an American family. There was a 10-year-old daughter in the family that hosted me. The distinction of our culture from theirs and the general approach and beliefs became apparent when I witnessed the girl's mother give her cold orange juice; though the girl had contracted flu. The Chinese believe that people who feel unwell should avoid cold drinks, believing that it aggravates the affliction. I had internalised the precaution from both family and friends back home. Indeed, people in China would disapprove serving cold juice/water to a sick person; particularly when it is flu. Concerned, I thought that I should speak out about the issue, I suggested that the girl ought to have been given warm water. They countered that orange juice was the best because it contained vitamin C. I had learnt something new. Therefore, effectively it became my first lesson[footnoteRef:1] [1: "Cultural Autobiography." March 25, 2016. Accessed September 5, 2016. http://studymoose.com/cultural-autobiography-essay]

Family Background

It is important to highlight some aspects of Chinese culture so as to explain how I've been influenced by my family. Chinese culture is what I would refer to as collectivist in nature. Generally, Chinese culture prioritizes the group over individuals. Consequently, there is need to raise the question as to what exactly is 'group'. It is easy to assume, just like it happens in western movies, that all Chinese look alike; thus, they would view each other as a single group. On the contrary, the Chinese are not the same. Chinese, typically think in differently (than what I have observed here). They view their immediate family that includes their parents and grandparents as their group. Sometimes, they also view their friends, co-workers; both former and current as their group. It is hard to make new friends when one has grown into full adulthood in Mainland China. The groups serve an essential purpose in the life of an individual. One looks up to members of their group when they are in critical situations. the members of the group are eager to reciprocate help and support.

Piety is at the core of Chinese values. There is a strong obligation across families to respect members of one's family. I would stop at nothing to assist all my relatives because they are members of my group. All these people would also be at the ready to assist me whenever I needed their assistance. Such Chinese ways of thinking are associated with the ideas of the great Chinese philosopher, Confucius. He considered protecting family interest to be of the highest value. Both immediate and extended family have been supportive of me. For example, my mother is a part of a large group with a host of relatives that includes brothers and their families. She also has sisters with children. That effectively means that I am well-connected and attached to uncles, aunties, nieces and nephews. This group is never hesitant to offer constructive criticism whenever necessary. Some of the areas of their close scrutiny about my ways include study and eating habits. They would point out whenever I eat junk food or have not worked hard enough in school. Such remarks are embraced and viewed positively by both the recipient and others around. Indeed, even those who criticise, do so in good faith. I spend a significant amount of my time looking for New Year gifts for my relatives and friends. Such gifts do not need to be expensive. They could be simple baskets, cake or even chocolate. The idea is to be connected and reciprocate love and affection. These family members provide the foundation for my home base. It is the safe haven that I feel comfortable to run into any time I needed to do so. Although my friends have their place in my life and heart, my family connections are my first priority. [footnoteRef:2] [2: ''Cultural Autobiography."]

My life is defined by several aspects including being a member of a family, friends and the fact that I'm a student. Yet, still, these elements do not tell a complete story of who I really am. My culture runs much deeper. I acquired the culture from my relatives and family. My living abroad has certainly influenced the way I think. Yet such thinking has not completely divorced me from the basic culture that I acquired from my Chinese roots. I'm still Chinese; in most ways. One's family is all that one has to depend on in life. It is for such reason that I'm highly thankful of having a great family[footnoteRef:3]. [3: "Cultural Autobiography."]

Desires in Life

I intend to secure employment with an NGO that focuses on human architecture; once I acquire the required education. It would fulfil my aspirations to travel across the globe and particularly to developing countries where I want to contribute significantly through my knowledge and services. Although returning to China is still on my plans, I would only do so after I make an impact on the global front. Mingling and mixing into foreign culture constitutes an important part of my personal development agenda[footnoteRef:4]. [4: "CHINA-RAISED, YALE-EDUCATED." 2016. Accessed September 5, 2016. http://yaledailynews.com/blog/2016/04/22/china-raised-yale-educated/.]

Firsts in my life

When I first joined graduate school I had many yearnings and cravings. I remember how I grappled with issues of identity, confidence, certainty and competence. I am aware that these experiences are not unique to me, though. Many Chinese students studying in U.S. confront similar challenges. It is hard enough to complete a graduate course in one's home country. Doing so in a foreign country must certainly present a host of new and unexpected challenges. A Chinese student must be prepared to overcome a range of barriers at various levels; if they are to achieve their objective of attaining a foreign education. I moved away from my home country. As I mentioned earlier, the Chinese form groups they entirely rely on for support whenever they face difficult times. I was left to my own devices when I decided to study in the USA because I had to make new friends. I often found myself feeling lonely[footnoteRef:5]. [5: Wenli, Yuan. "Academic and cultural experiences of Chinese students at an American university: A qualitative study." Intercultural Communication Studies 20, no. 1 (2011): 141-148]

The central and recurring challenge in my life as a student in the USA revolved around whether I should adapt to American culture or preserve my own. Several scholars including Wang and Mallinckrodt pointed out that Chinese students experience a lot of internal conflict between their Chinese identity and culture and the strong aspiration they hold about American socio-political and economic systems[footnoteRef:6]. Adapting to a foreign culture goes beyond just being open minded. It is a raging war between cultural indoctrination for the long-term and adapting to values that are quite unfamiliar. Generally, here is a prize at the end of the struggle. Gaining new perspectives about life, improving language (English) skills, and enhancing personal growth are worth the pain and endurance. Moreover, I believe that learning, (especially in the U.S.) improves the chances of employment and future development[footnoteRef:7]. [6: Wang, Chia-Chih DC, and Brent Mallinckrodt. "Acculturation, attachment, and psychosocial adjustment of Chinese/Taiwanese international students." Journal of Counselling Psychology 53, no. 4 (2006): 422.] [7: Yuan. "Academic and cultural experiences of Chinese students at an American university: A qualitative]

Analysis

I chose to highlight family matters because they are significantly different in the two countries. Indeed, the idea of taking care of one's family is a unique Chinese tradition that is sometimes viewed from humorous perspectives by some cultures. I do not mean to claim that it is unique in the manner that no other culture cares about family. What I'm emphasizing is the nature and strength of these family bonds and interdependency. In a conversation in one of the friendly meets that included both Chinese, American and other international students, a Chinese young man quipped that if he won a lottery he would get married soon and start a family. He mentioned that he would have a child. Other Chinese young people commented that if that fortune came their way, the cash would last for a lifetime and beyond. The American young people at the dinner table were amused by such ideas. The Americans thought very differently, than what the Chinese young men thought. They, for instance, thought that the cash would be for their fun. Secondly, they even thought that that was not a reason to get married. It can be inferred from the foregoing narrative the Chinese students' viewpoint at the prospect of utility of winning a lottery and subsequent usage of the cash. The Chinese view life as beyond individual and transcending into family and bloodline. To have a child, is a responsibility that they owe to their ancestors and forefathers[footnoteRef:8]. [8: "Cultural Autobiography."]