Willy Loman's poor parenting and its impact on his sons

Thesis Statement:
Arthur Miller's play, Death of a Salesman, depicts how poor parenting skills can cause one's children to have an unsuccessful future.

Few characters in American theater have become as iconic as Willie Loman, who embodies lackluster performance, listlessness, and low self esteem. Loman epitomizes depression, too, with his utter lack of passion a distinguishing feature of his character. His failure to succeed in the realm of business, in spite of having toiled away his life in service to not just a single company but to his own distorted version of the American Dream, makes Loman the worst possible role model for his children. Loman lacks vision or a sense of purpose. His lack of creativity or passion spills over into his communications with his family and results in strained relationships. Loman also exhibits passive-aggressive behavior, spending his entire career silent and sullen and then suddenly quitting without a grander vision for his life. His disclosure of former marital infidelity also showcases Loman’s tendency to use passive-aggressive methods that can be inherently harmful, instead of asserting his own needs in his relationships. Gender issues are also painfully at stake in Arthur Miller’s play, with Loman seeming to totally neglect his wife, and she succumbing to the pressures of patriarchal social norms. The Loman children, Biff and Happy, alternate between loving and resending their father. Their conflicted feelings reflect Willy’s inability to ever give his son’s the psychological resilience they need to succeed in the world or to achieve anything resembling happiness. Ultimately, Arthur Miller's play Death of a Salesman depicts the ways Willy Loman's poor parenting skills have impacted his kids’ future causing them to be as unsuccessful as he.
One of the main ways Loman demonstrates poor parenting skills is through his negative, bitter demeanor.  At the start of the play, the audience learns through Happy and Biff that Willy looks at his sons with a “twist of mockery on his face,” and that Biff “can’t get hear him,” (Miller 12). Willy does in fact seem to continually criticize his sons, especially Biff, the eldest who Willy may see as a younger version of himself. Happy too has been “nervous about him,” referring to their observations of Willy’s behavior (Miller 11). Biff also points out that Willy tends to “mumble” when he speaks: a sure sign of someone who lacks confidence, esteem, or leadership abilities (Miller 12). Willy’s parenting has led to a deepening rift between him and his sons that becomes one of the main themes of the play. Moreover, Willy seems to project his own lack of success onto his sons. Instead of reflecting on his own directionless career, Willy has been criticizing his eldest son as if to project his own sense of worthlessness and frustration onto him rather than owning it himself. For example, Happy notes to Biff that their father believes his eldest son’s life is “in the air,” the same of which could be said for Willy (Miller 12). Biff then points out how their father is “depressed,” and yet neither Biff nor Happy understands that it is the desire to follow in their father’s footsteps that led to all three of them leading a “measly manner of existence,” (Miller 12).
Both Biff and Happy had at some point shown signs of doing something different and following a different path from their father, but their father’s poor parenting skills derailed their dreams and deflated their hopes and dreams. For example, Happy describes his brother as being an “idealist,” but Biff’s idealism seems to die an early death (Miller 13). When the two brothers reflect on where they are in life, and their respective levels of success, they have no means by which to accurately measure achievement or happiness because they have such a poor benchmark in their father. In Act One, Biff and Happy both seem to recognize that money itself is not the cornerstone of real success and that genuine happiness comes from much more than pursuing the empty existence their father represents. Yet because Willy never provided their sons with the mental courage to pursue any entrepreneurial activity, neither son can envision a life other than the one led by the father. Willy Loman is simply a bad role model, but unfortunately, Biff and Happy know no other means to be a man. When Biff expresses his idealism in spurts, including a clear sign of entrepreneurial creativity, he and his brother both dismiss their own dreams because they do not believe in themselves. For example, Biff suggests early on that the two brothers might invest in the ranch or otherwise start a business called the Loman Brothers but their talk never comes to fruition (Miller 14). In fact, Happy even admits “everybody around me is so false that I’m constantly lowering my ideals,” (Miller 14).
Willy Loman’s lack of passion in his career rubs off on his sons, eroding their faith in themselves and their ability to succeed in the business world. While Willy does have a decent work ethic, saying things like “Never leave a job till you’re finished,” his overall philosophy seems to stress drudgery as his preferred method over enjoyment (Miller 17). One of the few times Willy exhibits any enthusiasm is when he gives his sons the punching bag with Gene Tunny’s signature on it, showing that on some level Willy has bonded with his son over stereotypical masculine activities like boxing (Miller 19). When Willy’s excitement about his hobby shines, the spark of life within him comes to the fore and he almost becomes capable of change. Although most of the play, he is negative and lifeless, in the scene in which he bequeaths the punching bag is one in which Willy expresses his deeper longing to start his own company: “Someday I’ll have my own business,” he states to Biff and Happy (Miller 19). The unfortunate use of the word “someday” practically foreshadows Willy’s ineptitude, for he never once shows that he is ready or willing to take the steps necessary to follow through with that goal. It is as if Willy expects the world to hand him his own business on a silver platter, and then turns around and resents the world for not giving him his own business as a gift just as he gave the punching bag to his sons. Willy would make for a better father and role model if his parenting skills relied more on modeling. If Willy had in fact started his own business, raising the money and attracting investors and doing all the hard work, he might have modeled that behavior in his sons and provided them with the attitude and wherewithal to succeed. As it stands, his parenting skills are too laissez-faire to be of any help to Biff or Happy.
Another feature of Willy Loman’s poor parenting skills is his passive-aggressiveness. Passive aggressiveness emerges in Willy’s nasty comments made, mainly to Biff, who he criticizes when he is in a bad mood. Both Happy and Linda notice when Willy uses this tactic to sidestep direct confrontation. However, Willy lacks the self-awareness to recognize how his poor communication style hurts his family relationships. For instance, Linda at one point calls out Willy on his overt criticism of Biff and his losing his temper. Ironically, Willy relies, “When the hell did I lose my temper?” (Miller 5). Miller cleverly uses irony here: as Willy using the exasperated tone and the word “hell” show that in fact he is certainly angry but just unaware of it. When Willy seems like he wants to be more straightforward and assertive with his sons, rather than passive-aggressive, he fails. For example, instead of confronting Biff in a kindhearted way that might actually evoke a change in his son’s behavior, Willy just complains angrily to others behind his back like when he says, “I’ll whip him!” (Miller 27). Biff ends up with a contradictory sense of self, as does Happy, as a result of their father’s confusing, paradoxical, and passive-aggressive behavior. Biff tells his mother, “I just can’t take hold, mom,” showing that he is bound to follow in his father’s footsteps because he was never given the proper discipline or parenting from his father that he needed (Miller 39). Happy shows slightly more hope and chance for moving out of his father’s shadow; by the end of the play his entrepreneurial spirit has been reignited when he speaks of starting a sporting goods store.
Loman’s laissez-faire parenting style is mirrored by that of his wife, while also entrenching patriarchal gender norms into their sons. Linda plays back seat to Willy, deferential and only willing to challenge him on childrearing issues. However, Linda also does not provide Biff and Happy with the role model, skills, or resources they need to overcome their challenges and find success in the business world. From the interactions between Willy and Linda, Biff and Happy learn that men in America are expected to be the breadwinners in the family. Instead of assuming a more collaborative approach to building family businesses that involve the female members of the household, Biff and Happy take after their father in viewing women as supporting staff. Linda does not challenge the evolution of their son’s gender identity, and nor does Willy. Willy allows outmoded gender norms to perpetuate in his family, which sets up Happy and Biff for possible failure in their personal as well as in their professional lives. It is not that Willy teaches his sons poor manners, but rather, a more subtle and possibly more sinister form of misogyny. Willy’s parenting style is inherently contradictory, sending mixed messages to his sons. As a result, Biff and Happy develop relatively weak senses of self and identity that clouds their ability to see past the limitations placed upon themselves by his parents. On some level, Willy does not want his sons to be like him, and yet he does coax them in his direction by inculcating his own attitude of pessimism and defeatism. Willy neglects to listen to the wisdom that does occasionally come out of his wife’s mouth related to the ways to empower and support their children. For example, at the end of the play Linda shows how Willy talking “hopefully” led to a noticeable change in their son’s demeanor (Miller 48).
The mixed messages they receive, the passive-aggressive tendencies, and the bitterness all make for potentially disastrous parenting in Arthur Miller’s play Death of a Salesman.i A play about an American family, painted as a typical middle-class one at that, is bound to address the ways that attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs are passed down through the generations. Those attitudes and beliefs encompass gender norms and roles, as well as identity and self-efficacy. From Willy Loman, Biff and Happy learn that hard work does not often yield reward, but that hard work is an ethical imperative.

Works Cited Miller, Arthur. Death of a Salesman. Digital Edition: https://www.pelister.org/literature/ArthurMiller/Miller_Salesman.pdf