Marriage stability after childbirth in American society

¶ … Ferdinand De Leon in the Seattle Times: The main goals of the studies alluded to in this article were to determine how prevalent it is in American society to have a marriage go on the rocks when a baby is brought into the fold. In this article there was no data provided by the journalist as to specific strategies of the surveys (self-report or otherwise), and the methodology was not explained, but there were survey results reported. Pertinent to the overall thrust of the article is that in 70% of marriages "...women experience a drop in marital satisfaction after the baby is born" (De Leon, 1999).

Alyson Fearnley Shapiro's survey of 43 couples from the time they were newlyweds to their child's first birthday -- showed that once that first child is born, "…it's downhill for many couples" (De Leon, 1999). Mothers take the biggest hit and "…begin to show dissatisfaction as early as four months after the baby is born," De Leon explains. If husbands are "affectionate" and "understanding" it makes it a lot easier on the mother, but the fact that so many men "fail to become full partners in parenthood" is tragic. In fact the article indicates that 85% of mothers go through "a profound chance" with a baby in the house, but only 35% of men go through that same change (De Leon, 1999).

The article -- which is a newspaper source, hence it is less specific than a professional journal source -- points to a possible solution called "Keys for Couples: An Intensive Marriage enhancement Training Seminar." According to Keith Robertson, the leader of the seminar, the father goes through "…a tremendous loss" because the baby has "replaced him as quarterback" and now the father is "a third-stringer on the bench. There's a loss of status and affection," Robertson reports, and for the mother she has "lost her life -- she has no freedom and loses her body" (De Leon, 1999).

Article in the Journal of Marriage and Family: The main point of this peer-reviewed piece was that married parents are less satisfied than married couples without children. This was a meta-analytic review -- a review of many studies -- that offered "profound practical value for those who wish to make an informed decision about having children" (Twenge, et al., 2003). The authors researched studies that compared marital satisfaction of people without children to those with children, and studies that examined the "correlation between marital satisfaction and number of children" (Twenge, 577). There were a total of 47,692 respondents that had been surveyed within the 97 research articles the authors examined. The relationships between variables were correlational and the authors' findings matched closely with their hypotheses.

The main findings -- correlating parents to non-parents -- were that parents had "significantly lower marital satisfaction than non-parents" and specifically only 38% of women that had infants had "higher than average marital satisfaction" but 62% of women without a child had higher than average marital satisfaction (the binomial display of Rosenthal, 1994, was utilized) (Twenge, 579). As to the correlation between marital satisfaction and number of children in the marriage, it came down to the fact that "…the more children in the family, the lower the parents' marital satisfaction" (Twenge, 590). The conclusions fit the findings well; the methodology was strong; and there were no limitations mentioned but this research was not "an indictment of parenthood." The authors stress that when couples think they will strengthen their marriage by having children, that is likely to "backfire, and all parties will suffer" (Twenge, 582).

Wall Street Journal (Europe) article: The goals of this piece were to determine if marriage is better or worse among newest generation of married couples -- and the results of this survey of 90 studies involving 31,000 married people indicate the "…after the first baby's birth" marital satisfaction is 42% lower among the newest generation of parents (mostly Gen-Xers) than in previous generations (Shellenbarger, 2004). Additional research referenced by the author reflects that "one-third to one-half of new parents" have the same amount of stress as couples that are already going through marriage counseling. This is an article in a newspaper and hence there are limited data on how findings were achieved, but Shellenbarger reports that "child-related spending" in households is causing financial stress. "Marketers have shrewdly positioned a flood of costly new products" including a "crib-linen set" at $300 (225 Euros) and a $700 stroller-bassinet combo (p. 2). The most important skill is "…to be able to talk without fighting" on parenting, issues said Howard Markman, marriage educator/counselor (Shellenbarger, p. 2).