Birth control, abortion, and safe sex practices

Birth Control/Safe Sex

As a young female of Japanese descent, birth control and safe sex are among the most sensitive issues I can discuss. Sexuality is a tender topic in most countries, for most age groups and genders. However, I believe that my ethnic and family background has had a strong impact on my decisions, values, and beliefs regarding safe sex and birth control. My parents did not discuss sex much if at all with me or my siblings. They did send me strong verbal messages against having sex too early and prohibited me from dating boys during much of my teen years. My parents also sent me nonverbal messages and cues that were chiefly derived from their Japanese heritage: that proper woman were to be passive participants in sex, were not to act sexual, and were not to take control of our bodies in any overt way. Therefore, what I gleaned about birth control and safe sex from my parents was very little. I did, however, learn from them that birth control was preferable to abortions, and also that condoms and other forms of contraception were good to use in order to prevent pregnancy. However, I did not learn from my parents about sexually transmitted diseases. I learned most of what I know about safe sex from school, the modern media, and from my peers. As a result of my upbringing, my education, my gender role, peer influences and the influences from popular culture, I have made conflicting, even sometimes contradictory, choices regarding birth control and safe sex.

Japanese popular culture sends conflicting messages about sex, which may be one reason why I have not formulated a cohesive approach toward the issues of birth control, abortion, and safe sex. I believe my Japanese friends have experienced similar conflicts in their own lives. For instance, when I was sixteen, one of my friends suddenly called me up and asked me to drive her to the clinic. She needed an abortion. I was shocked; I new she had been dating a guy for almost a year but I hadn't had sex yet and was frightened that something horrible would happen to her. She was alright, and her decision turned out to be the best one I am sure. I do not believe that teenagers should be raising children, at least in a modern society, and feel that abortion is the best option for teens who accidentally become pregnant.

A also feel that my friend's experience led her to make more conscious and conscientious decisions regarding using birth control. She went on the pill and has not had a pregnancy since then. However, I also noticed that because she is on the pill she does not feel she needs to use condoms when she dates new men. I'm sure she is not the only woman who feels more concerned about getting pregnant than about contracting a disease like AIDS. I have not opted to take the pill at this point in my life for several personal reasons, but I do feel that it is an optimal choice for women in committed relationships. I will consider taking the pill in the future if I am in a committed relationship and do not want to get pregnant. However, because the pill does not prevent disease, I do feel that women on the pill should use condoms when they meet new men.

Because my awareness on the topic of birth control and safe sex is currently quite strong, I have made the decision to use condoms when I have sex. I have in fact only used condoms as a form of birth control and have never experimented with other "barrier" methods. I did try taking the pill for a short while but felt it was not the right choice for me; the choice was not based on its effectiveness as a form of birth control so much as it was based on concerns about side-effects. I also know that the pill does not prevent sexually transmitted diseases, and condoms do. In fact, condoms can prevent both pregnancy and disease. However, I have had sex on many occasions without condoms. Since I am not on the pill, I could have become pregnant and/or contracted a disease, if I were unlucky.

A-based my choices and beliefs on what I have learned in school primarily; my friends and I do not discuss the issue of sexually transmitted diseases very much. My reticence also stems from my cultural background and my family upbringing, which also tended to keep such matters private. However, I am beginning to be able to talk more openly about my beliefs regarding sex because of the education I am receiving. I have noticed that speaking more openly leads to more intelligent choices, for both me and my friends. I have several friends who comfortably talk about sex and their choices regarding birth control. Many of my friends are on the pill. I have a few friends, both male and female, who unfortunately do not give sexually transmitted diseases much thought and are not concerned about condoms. On the other hand, I have several friends who do use condoms each time they have sex and are very strict with their partners about using them, which I believe is the only sensible choice.