Birth of a Child

¶ … Life

There are many important days that remain etched in our memories throughout our lives. The day we graduate from college. The day we marry. The day we first leave home and strike out on our own. These memories are all important, but the most important day in my life has been the birth of my child. There are simply no words to express the joy, the fears, and the miracle of what happened to me that day.

First, let me say that at first, when my wife told me we were expecting, I was more than a little nervous. I wasn't sure I was ready to be a father, and even though we had discussed it, I was worried about being able to provide a good life for my child -- make that an excellent life. I was worried about the typical things father's worry about -- housing, money, college, and the other day-to-day pressure of everyday life and raising a family. However, it wasn't long before my wife's totally infectious joy rubbed off on me. I started to really enjoy thinking about creating a nursery, playing ball with my son in the back yard when he got old enough, and enjoying camping trips with the whole family. I thought about teaching my child about the wonders of nature, about the intricacies of my favorite sports, and about life, and what I learned and what I hoped they would learn. I was getting much more excited every day, while my wife was getting bigger and more miserable every day. I attended childbirth classes with my wife, and learned how to be her coach and best friend during birth. Even though I attended those classes, and thought I was truly prepared, nothing prepared me for how I felt on that day -- the day my new baby came into the world.

So, as the day approached, my wife grew increasingly uncomfortable, and I grew increasingly nonchalant. I was cool. I knew what to expect in the hospital room, and how to help my wife through the birth. I was so cool; I thought that I could handle anything. Boy was I wrong. When the day finally arrived, I became a nervous wreck as I drove my wife to the hospital and tried to remember all the steps I'd learned in class. The nurses and doctors took over when we arrived at the hospital, and all I had to do was put on a gown and hold my wife's hand in the delivery room. I was sweating bullets, and every contraction that seemed to tear my wife apart tore me apart too. I wasn't sure I could handle it when the birth finally started in earnest, and the baby finally made an appearance. Actually, I thought I'd pass out, but I held it together and watched. What I saw was a miracle that deeply affected me.

You've heard the expression "knock your socks off?" I thought I knew what that meant, but I had no idea until I saw this tiny being we had created together come out of my wife's body and take its' first breath. he/she let out a might scream, and I felt my face break into a joyful and amazed smile. I didn't even know if my child was a boy or a girl, but already, I felt some impossible and amazing bond that could never be broken. This was our child, something we had made totally apart from anyone or anything else, and it was truly a miracle. I cannot possibly imagine feeling any better than I did at that moment.

A whole crew of nurses seemed to descend out of nowhere. They took the baby and began to wash and clean it. They told me it was a girl (boy), and my heart just swelled with pride. I had a daughter!!! I was a daddy!!! I held her for a brief second after they wrapped her in a soft blanket, and then they placed her on her mother's chest, where she could feel the warmth and the safety. And then they whisked her away to the nursery to take care of her. I didn't want to let her out of my sight for even a minute. My wife and I held hands and embraced, and then they took her back to her room. I was alone with my thoughts. Of course, I called the families to let them know they had a healthy and beautiful granddaughter, and then I wandered down to the nursery to look at my little miracle again.

I simply cannot express how I felt that day. I felt proud, I felt humble. I felt scared and elated. I felt joy and I felt incredibly blessed and unique. I knew that my life had changed dramatically in an instant, and that it would never be the same again. I knew that suddenly there was more pressure on me to succeed, to grow, and to take care of my family. Before, I was only responsible for myself and my wife, and now, there was another being added to the mix. I felt powerful and intensely weak at the same time. I immediately wanted to run out and conquer the world, or at least buy my new daughter a new bike. I resisted the urge, and decided to wait until she was big enough to appreciate it.