Birth order effects on personality and development

Birth Order and Personality: An Autobiographical Report

Albert Adler, a disciple of Sigmund Freud who later broke away from Freud in order to formulate his own theories of human psychology, theorized that the order in which a person is born (e.g., only; oldest; second of two; middle of three or more; youngest; twin) inherently affects that individual's personality. My own birth order is that of an only child. According to Adler, an only child: "Likes being the center of adult attention; often has difficulty sharing with siblings and peers, and prefers adult company and uses adult language" (Stein). These traits, as described by Adler (some more flattering than others) are all true of me.

As for various birth orders Adler and others describe, and their effect on personality, an older child (of two children) may feel "dethroned" (Adler; Stein). Further, among firstborn children, "Positive interactions with an older child may diminish, especially if the birth interval is short and the mother adopts a more controlling parenting style" (Baydar, 1997).

A second child (of two children) often feels that "There is always someone ahead" (Stein), and will, consequently, typically be more competitive, and may feel a wish to "overtake" an older sibling. Moreover, according to the web article "Birth Order":

Second-born and/or middle children tend to feel inferior to the older child or children, since they do not realize that their lower level of achievement is a function of age. They often try to succeed in areas not excelled in by their elder siblings. Middle-born children have shown a relatively high level of success in team sports, and both they and last-borns have been found to be better adjusted emotionally if from large families.

Moreover, a middle child (of three or more) may also feel squeezed or sandwiched between other siblings, and may, therefore, feel that he or she cannot find a distinct place in the family constellation ("Birth Order Dynamics and Response to Stress"). A youngest child has "the least amount of power in the whole family. He sees his older siblings having more freedom and more superiority. He also gets pampered and protected more than any other child ("Personality Synopsis"). With twins, there is generally a more dominant and a less dominant twin, and these roles function somewhat similarly to the positions of an older and a younger child (of two) (Stein).

In my own case, I am an only child of a single parent. The web article "Birth Order Dynamics and Response to Stress" states, of only children: "Both the high parental expectations usually reserved for eldest children and the pampering lavished on the youngest sibling in a family is often experienced by only children." Further, Byrd et al. (1993) (qtd. In Buckley), suggest:.".. only children who attempt to fulfill all their parents' expectations are retarded in developing adulthood autonomy and are less independent than any other birth order."

An only child is also a firstborn, however. As McCarthy & Anglin suggest:

First born children may be at greater risk of developmental problems in single parent families. Faced with an inexperienced caretaker, this is the child that may have benefited most from two parents. With limited adult care taking, deleterious effects of a nervous first time parent may be more pronounced.

In the Birth Order Book, Leman points out that each birth order has both advantages and drawbacks. Of the only child, Leman states:

Only children tend to be critical -- of themselves as well as others -- and they are often lonely, particularly if they grew up in surroundings that offered few playmates... they often have difficulty relating to their peers... getting along far better with people who are much older or younger. (79)

Some of the above observations made about only children and/or children of single parents, are more positive than others, but I believe that on the whole most are true of me. When I was a child I was more used to the company of adults, so I felt more comfortable around adults, especially when I was very young. Once I went to school, I became more comfortable around other children my age. Still, all through school I remember my peers saying I talked like an adult and knew many words they had never heard of. This was not deliberate because I preferred to fit in with my peers, but, as Adler points out (in Stein), an only child will often talk more like an adult because he or she communicates more with adults than with peers.