Raising Cain: book report and analysis

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys

Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson

The Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon, a researcher and psychology professor at Harvard who is also practicing psychotherapist specializing in boys and Michael Thompson, a child psychologist, workshop leader, and staff psychologist of an all-boys school. Both are Ph.Ds and two of the country's foremost child psychologists. In this book they have very successfully shared the experience of what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of mutual experience working with boys and their families.

The book is an important and a fascinating read to all boys and their families. Both authors have been convincing in their argument that for boys it would be good if they become more 'emotionally literate,' in order to comprehend their own feelings as well as of others. The valuable and insightful proposal given by these writers would be welcomed by parents and teachers alike to learn how to stay tuned in to a boy, and at the same time respecting his autonomy. Thus, the book gives its readers a much-needed glimpse into the hidden or in other words inner lives of boys.

About the Book

The book Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys reveals a realm of boys who are hurting sad, quiet, frightened and annoyed. According to the statistics in the book it is alarming that quite a number of young boys are at high risk for suicide, loneliness, drinking, drug abuse and violence. In light of those statistics the authors set out to answer this basic, vital question: What do boys need that they're not getting? In answering this, here, Kindlon and Thompson have shed light on the destructive emotional training boys receive which is basically in other words is called as the emotional mis-education of boys.

The authors made a convincing and forceful case that emotional literacy is the key, which should be offered to boys, advising parents at the same time to identify the loss boys have to pay when they are hold to an impracticable standard of manhood. Furthermore, they have recognized the social and emotional challenges that are usually encountered in school by the boys and to solve such challenges, they have also shown how parents could assist their boys in educating emotional awareness and understanding that gives the boys the fundamental connections and support they require in order to pass through the social pressures of adolescence.

Analysis of the Book

After the spectacular success of Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher's landmark book, that addressed the emotional lives of girls. Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson come with a book that answers equally timely and significant need to comprehend boys. Thus, through case studies and thorough research, the book signifies a portrait of boys that has been analytically steered away from their emotional lives by adults and the friends, called as "culture of cruelty." This category of boys receives little or no support to build up qualities like sympathy, understanding, and affection.

According to Kindlon and Thompson, boys suffer from a too-narrow meaning of masculinity. They represented and discussed the association between susceptibility and developing sexuality, the "culture of cruelty" boys live in, the "tyranny of toughness," the drawback of being a boy in elementary school, how boys' emotional lives are squelched, and what society should do about it without turning "boys into girls."

The most important subject throughout the book is the necessity for boys to develop an emotional vocabulary and literacy that give them the ability to read and comprehend not only their own emotions but of others as well. Both authors have constantly indicated that it is not only this that most boys are not encouraged to be emotional, but also, they are trained to restrain such feelings by a culture that expects them to be "manly." This "emotional mis-education" of boys needs to provide the proper "emotional steering" for boys so that they comprehend that the fact that it is quite normal to be or express their emotions openly.

Thus, in this context, the authors presented a well-developed seven points, as "What Boys Need." These points reach far ahead of the common psychobabble checklist and slogan list. They have made an alarming sketch of male youth in America; and through personal narratives and theoretical debates, this well written book examines the well of unhappiness, annoyance, and fright in America's adolescent boys.

Through this convincing case that compels that emotional literacy is the most precious gift one could offer to sons, Raising Cain is an influential and informative book, setting out to carefully search the way boys suffer as well as the causes behind their emotional pain. The book is written both for parents of boys and teachers. However, it can be read by those as well who wishes to comprehend why most boys behave the way they do and what one can do to help them with their emotional tussles.

The authors among different solutions suggested helping boys by developing tough, adaptable, emotional lives that allow them to have an internal life, which is full of uncontrolled emotions. Also, help them to develop and obtain an emotional vocabulary in order to better comprehend their own selves and communicate more efficiently with others. In other words boys should know that there are several other ways to "be a man."

Conclusion

The book is a valuable gift for all those who has ever been or known a boy or man. Through addressing many real-life examples from authors' own practices, the book presents the requirements and experiences of boys and men and how they relate to emotional literacy. It discussed as how community typecast along with their enforcement in various social settings obstruct boys in their ability to be cheerful, caring members of society and their role for understanding in all its forms. Furthermore, the book described as to how this information is connected to different subjects, for example sadness, use of drug and alcohol, friends, aggression or fighting, sexuality and relationships, mothers and sons and fathers and sons.

Thus, this book is not just for parents of teenage boys but also the authors have made a point in the book at many instances that it is very important for boys to require an emotional education that teaches them to identify different emotions as physical indications and with emotional consequences, which could only be taught through teachers. To further convince through this argument, the authors cited cases from their personal clinical backgrounds and presented practical suggestions about what should be done in order to find these problems and help children.