Changed My Thoughts About Adulthood

¶ … Changed My Thoughts About Adulthood

My views on adulthood: How they have changed

The concept of adulthood has definitely changed over the course of my lifespan. When I was graduating from high school, many of my fellow classmates were poised to enter the working world. Some were even getting married. Their childhood had clearly ended, and it was time for them to assume adult responsibilities. The fact that all young men were required to serve in the military had a great impact upon my generation's sense of maturity: individuals who returned from service were clearly 'men,' not boys dependent upon the will of their families. There was a sense of sacrifice, which I have always considered the essence of adulthood. Being a grown-up means being willing to put aside your own needs and pleasures when it is in the interests of others that you do so.

Now, the boundaries of adulthood have grown more flexible. More students go away to college and remain dependent upon their parents -- financially and emotionally. Some of my children said that many of their university classmates had never washed their own clothes, even though these children were intelligent seventeen-year-olds. And because of the current recession, recent college graduates, even after they have received their diploma, are returning to the nest. Some of my friend's children and grandchildren have reestablished themselves comfortably in their old rooms. They can remain on their parent's health insurance, not pay rent, and still have a chance to 'find themselves' while becoming financially solvent, pay off their student loans, and hopefully find a decent job. Adult children with their own children are also returning to their childhood home because they are financially struggling. While this could ideally become a return to the 'extended family' tradition of earlier ages, some grandparents are complaining that they feel that they have become parents again. They are picking up after their adult children, watching their grandchildren, and dealing with grown children who cannot cope with the responsibilities of work, home, and family.

Before this class, I was inclined to look down upon this generation of dependent young people. But this class as taught me that the standards of what constitutes adolescence and adulthood are not universal. I often remember a 60 Minutes episode I saw that showed how young people in Italy routinely live with their parents until they marry, even if they are working as professionals. Grandparents might still cook every night for their adult sons! The extended, tight-knit family is highly valued in that culture, I can see now, and living with family is not a sign of immaturity but a cultural practice. Similarly, America's own culture has shifted and changed with economic circumstances. I might not agree or like all of the new changes that have brought about this current 'extended adolescence' but now I can better understand why it has arisen, at this time in our nation's history.

Before the industrial revolution, people might remain on the family farm with their extended family from the time they lived until they died. This was hardly a sign of weakness, rather it was required for individuals to survive. When I was younger, jobs were far easier to find, and social standards were different than they are today. There was also less emphasis on finding yourself, your purpose in life, and your soul mate.

Taking this class has made me more tolerant and compassionate of those who come from a different generation. I know it has made me a better grandparent: whatever my grandchildren decide to do with their lives, I will support them. I will also understand that they have and will have different struggles than myself, and try not to judge them based upon my own standards.