Charles Bukowski\'s Poem \"My Old

Charles Bukowski's poem "My Old Man" relates to an account regarding an adolescent named Henry and his relationship with his abusive father. Henry is unable to connect with his father and he appears to convey his feelings through his poems. The boy does not want his father to become acquainted with the way that he thinks or with his poems and thus hesitates to present them to his 'old man'. However, the two experience a unique moment at the time when his father grabs hold of one of his poems and actually expresses admiration regarding it. While this might not seem particularly significant when considering their relationship, it is actually very important, taking into account that Henry realizes that this specific poem made it possible for his father to get a better understanding of him.

Problems experienced by Henry and his father alike materialized in their lack of success in connecting with each-other. While Henry appears to consider that his father cannot possibly have an influence on his life, his poems reveal that he actually considers his family a resource. The fact that the two experience difficulty in bonding makes it problematic for Henry to gain a better understanding of his feelings. A psychologist can "help the youngster to deal with the limitations of the family as a resource and look to the extended family or the community for the support so vital to the youngster's healing" (Snyder & Ooms 1). Henry's father also needs assistance in being able to connect with his son. One can actually say that the poem makes it possible for the 'old man' to have a better understanding of his son's thinking. If one were to address matters from the point-of-view of a psychologist, "the goal is to help parents regain their competence and ability to help their teenager survive the passage to responsible adulthood" (Snyder & Ooms 1).

Even with the fact that some might be inclined to believe that the 'old man' could not have possibly had an influence on Henry's life, the truth is that negative parenting reflects negatively on the adolescent. To a certain degree, Henry also has an influence on his father and the apogee or this particular influence is revealed at the time when the 'old man' reads the poem. It is very probable that genetic heritage intense triggers feelings in Henry and his father alike and assists them in connecting with each-other. Positive parents encourage their children to adopt a prosocial attitude. In contrast, Henry's father prevents the child from being able to express himself freely. It is very probable that the adolescent comes to put across his feelings through his poem as a result of being unable to do so otherwise (Kourkoutas & Erkman 1).

Henry's father is hesitant to put across his feelings and actually influences the adolescent to channel his thoughts through his poems with the purpose of trying to connect with the world. The 'old man' is initially angered as a consequence of understanding that his son had the courage to express himself. However, he is concomitantly inclined to express admiration concerning this particular act. "Ideally both parents and adolescents learn to respect each-other's experiences and take responsibility for effectively shaping each-other's responses" (Greco & Hayes 121). When considering Henry's approach, it appears that he took action regarding his relationship with his father. His poem acted as a catalyst and influenced the 'old man' to acknowledge that it was essential for him to change his attitude toward his son.

In addition to experiencing feelings normally associated with a parent's difficulty to connect with his adolescent son, the 'old man' amplifies the problems in their relationship through putting across abusive behavior. This makes Henry feel that it would be pointless for him to try and connect with his father. This is probably one of the reasons why he did not want to present his father with his poems. Even with the fact that he knew that it was likely that they would trigger intense feelings in the 'old man', he felt that his father did not deserve to understand him.