Christian counseling principles and practices

Christian Counseling

The plight of Mr. And Mrs. J is troubling as there are many prominent presenting issues at an initial glance at their case. The most striking issue is the lack of affection these two people have for each other. The recent combining of families in this case is also very stark. While the situation is not dire, this relationship appears headed for doom and trouble if certain steps are not taken to remedy the situation.

The most dominant issue in this case appears to be the professional lives of these individuals. The modern family, as represented in this case, places much emphasis on work and career besides family. 60-hour work weeks for Mr. J. doesn't serve his families best emotional interests. The fact that Mrs. J feels she has to work as well also appears to violate God's laws in some antiquated ways. Overall there is a severe imbalance of family, career and love in this particular relationship.

The results of this behavior present problems for the future if this situation is not corrected. The impact of estrangement within a marriage has profound and deep implications for all involved. The children in this family are becoming more at risk from being in this environment and may present the greatest issues for these clients.

Question 2

Without knowing more about this relationship, it may be difficult to ascertain the root causes of this problematic relationship. The past histories of both Mr. And Mrs. J need to be explored to find some of these root causes. It is important that this couple learns about themselves and through this self-discovery, some of these issues may come to light, even though it is unpleasant.

It may also be wise and prudent to understand Mr. J's reasons for working so many hours. It should not be discounted that he may also be having an extra-marital affair. Mr. J or Mrs. J. may also have homosexual tendencies that are preventing their marriage to truly grow and blossom. To learn more about the children would also be beneficial in gaining a better understanding of the problems that this relationship is currently experiencing.

Question 3

The initial diagnosis seems to be a sexual aversion disorder (SAD) suffering on both sides of the relationship. There is no question that these people are avoiding sexual relations with one another, SAD may be a viable explanation in finding out why and how to conventionally treat this disorder.

Brotto (2009) wrote "The DSM-IV-TR text indicates that anxiety, fear, or disgust when confronted with a sexual opportunity are features of SAD. Moreover, the scope of the sexual stimuli producing the aversion can range from a specific aspect of the sexual encounter (e.g.,genital secretions) to any and all sexual stimuli (including kissing, touching, and hugging)." SAD should be considered in this case because of the lack of sex that is occurring in this relationship. Perhaps more information is needed to confirm this, but this is a starting point and diagnosis can change as more information is gathered and incorporated into the situation.

According the DSM IV, diagnostic criteria for 302.79 Sexual Aversion Disorder are characterized by several qualities. One sign of this disorder is a persistent avoidance of all or almost all sexual contact which is present in this particular case. The next sign of SAD can be noticed if this disturbance grows into interpersonal difficulty with others, also present n this case.

Question 4

Spiritual connectivity plays a much larger role in this case than the more scientific explanations that were mentioned before. Love is a spiritual action, where there is no love, there is fear. Fear of connectivity with the higher spirit is a common trait amongst many married couples. Until they understand that a marriage is covenant with God, this relationship will most likely still experience these intimacy issues.

The ultimate purpose of marriage is not sex, security, companionship, or even love and procreation, though they all are components of this merger. The primary purpose of marriage is the formation of a spiritual union with another person, and it is only within such a union that all other roles of marriage have meaning. Relating together spiritually means creatively combining two people's schedules. Spouses have to be flexible, committed, and have realistic expectations for what they want to happen in the relationship. Genesis 2:24 explained it best: " That is why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh." Incorporating the spirit of God into a marriage is ultimately necessary for it to be recognized as legitimate in His eyes.

Question 5