Cognitive behavioral therapy: restructuring affect through thoughts

Driving on the highway, I was cut off by an erratic driver who kept changing lanes and swerving. Angry and offended, as well as a little afraid for my own safety, I overreacted by honking, tailgating, then swerving myself to cut him off in an act of revenge. In addition to feeling angry, I also felt a sense of righteous indignation. Cognitive behavioral therapeutic techniques can help me to re-structure my cognitive and emotional states so that I can react more effectively to stressful or unnerving situations.
The “Cognitive Restructuring” document detailing Albert Ellis’ ABCD approach offers a series of steps that can be taken to become more aware of irrational beliefs. A list of irrational beliefs or philosophies also helps me to recognize which of these I can change. For example, in this situation, I believed, however irrationally, that “I can’t stand the way certain people act.” I also recognize the irrational belief, “Threatening situations have to keep me terribly worried,” and “people should be condemned for their wrongdoings.” Even though my belief that I cannot stand the way people act seems like a statement of fact, it is important to recognize how an irrational belief might cause me to overreact in the situation. It is one thing to get upset, but another thing to react poorly.
A catastrophe scale can help me to consider my responses to life events:
1. People walking too slowly on the street. Slow walkers can be annoying because they make me break my rhythm or step off the sidewalk to pass them. At the time I experience this, I rate it about a 30, but in reality there is only a level 10 of catastrophe.
2. Argument with a loved one. 15. I score this 15 because even though it seems stressful at the time, I know that everything will be ok in the long run. However, there are some arguments that feel like a 50 or even higher during the heat of the discussion.
3. Getting fired. 60. Getting fired would be temporarily disastrous, but I would be relatively confident I could find a new job.
Applying the catastrophe scale to the event involving the driver, at the time it felt like a 75 but I believe it is really just a 40 or 50. I could not go lower than a 40 because of the potential for injury or death if something went wrong. However, I do not think that the driver was actually putting anyone’s life in danger. The irrational beliefs I have about my ability to control my emotions, my feelings that the other driver deserved revenge, and that “I can’t stand the way certain people act” can all be changed. I tend to cling to these irrational beliefs mainly because I assume they are all true. Even if I was right to be afraid and upset, I still have the power to change the way I feel about the situation by changing my cognitive processes. Changing my cognitive processes and emotions together can bring about more desirable outcomes. Reflecting on the situation with the driver, I can see that the irrational beliefs are the same ones I hold in other situations.
For example, when I feel threatened by a person who does not react the way I want them to, I get angry because “I can’t stand the way certain people act.” Instead of being convinced that I cannot change this about myself, I can take steps to be more compassionate towards others, and to see that sometimes people make mistakes, or they did not mean to hurt me. Just because someone does not do what I wanted, or say what I wanted them to say, does not mean that I need to react in an angry or negative way. I can learn how to recognize when irrational beliefs are guiding my thoughts and my emotions, and work hard to change those beliefs. I can tell myself, “I am calm, cool, and collected when faced with a stressful situation. It is ok to feel stressful, and I have the power to react in a sensible and rational way.”