Communication and Family Life

Communication Dynamics Within a Family

Communication within the family

Communication plays an important role in all relationships and individuals are provided with the ability to observe its effectiveness from a young age, within the family. Many families have developed identities that are being transferred from generation to generation and have gotten actively involved in trying to improve communication channels. Communication within the family can be efficient because of many reasons, some of the most important being related to teaching children about socialization and establishing intimate relationships.

In order to be able to comprehend the degree to which communication improves a relationship, it would be important for someone to attempt to observe situations in which it is very poor or lacking altogether. Throughout society one can observe individuals complaining about poor communication between themselves and other people or groups. Parents often emphasize the fact that their communication with their children is very poor and a reason for which children might be inclined to take on deviant attitudes. In their turn, children are putting across similar ideas as they are trying to highlight the fact that their parents are not willing to listen to them and simply attempt to impose their thinking on their children.

Communication between parents is among the most significant means of communication in the family. This form of communication can shape the family as a whole, can make the marital relationship stable, and can provide children with the ability to solve problems more effectively.

By taking into account the Shannon-Weaver model of communication, one can gain a more complex understanding of the importance of communication within the family and strategies individuals can employ in order to improve the way they communicate with other members of their family. Even with the fact that this particular model was devised around 1948, it can still be applied in contemporary situations, especially considering that it has experienced many adaptations during recent decades (Gosche).

Non-verbal communication

Numerous individuals today have trouble understanding the significance of non-verbal communication and are actually inclined to believe that they should solely focus on verbal communication in their struggle to connect with others. There is much more to non-verbal communication than some might believe:

7% of all communication is typically put across via spoken word

38% is expressed through body language and through the tone individuals use while speaking

55% of communication is communicated through the facial expression that the individual uses (Gosche).

Considering that approximately 93% of communication is non-verbal, it appears that society as a whole needs to acknowledge the significance of non-verbal communication and to use it more efficiently. Oftentimes when someone speaks, listeners are inclined to be influenced by their facial expression more than they are by the actual words they are saying (Gosche). Sarcasm is one of the major reasons why non-verbal communication is, in some cases, more important than verbal communication. Individuals can say something they do not actually mean, but their intention might be to express different ideas. It would thus be essential for listeners to have a complex understanding of the conversation in order for them to actually comprehend the ideas that the persons they are communicating with are trying to put across. By simply comparing over-the-phone conversations with real-life conversations, one is probable to acknowledge the fact that phones can limit a person's ability to express him or herself exactly as he or she wants to.

One of the main reasons why people often find themselves having trouble understanding non-verbal communications is the fact that they received little to no formal training meant to enable them to do this. "Unlike other communication skills, the techniques of non-verbal communication are not very well understood; they are not yet taught formally, and are entirely omitted from the school curriculum." (Halberstadt 14)

In spite of the fact that there is limited information available for individuals to learn more about non-verbal communication, people are nonetheless provided with the mechanisms they need in order to understand it better as they develop. Families are generally considered to be similar to a training ground making it possible for people to observe how non-verbal communication works and how they can use it. In cases when children were penalized as a consequence of openly expressing their emotions, these respective children are likely to grow up to express little to no interest in non-verbal communication. Families thus play an essential role in determining the way that individuals develop and in the way they communicate with others.

In some situations people adapt to the environments they live in and can have the tendency to misinterpret particular messages in other environments. For example, someone can consider that a particular non-verbal gesture might mean something just because of how that gesture is used while at home. The respective individual is then probable to misunderstand messages from other people. "When the family environment is low in expressiveness, individuals must become sensitive to the most subtle displays of emotion in order to relate effectively with their family members." (Halberstadt 15)

Children as important communicators

In a great deal of families parents are inclined to project their thinking onto their children without acknowledging all messages that their children put across. The fact that individuals adapt to their family's 'language system' can sometimes be less effective in improving communication within the family. In a series of cases one can gain a complex understanding about other families and about the mechanisms that made change possible in those respective families. However, the same people might experience difficulty as they try to understand how their family works or about the tools they can use with the purpose to improve it.

There are numerous ideas in the contemporary society showing people how they should behave in their families and attempting to provide them with the attitudes they need in order to improve their relationship with other family members. The film "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" contains a series of ideas related to family communication. One of the central characters in the film, Willy Wonka, has had a negative experience with his family as a result of having a strict father. As a consequence, this particular character puts across lack of support with regard to families in general and attempts to influence others to agree to his point-of-view. Charlie's description of having a family that is warm and that is mainly interested in helping others this comes as a surprise to Willy. "Families vary, not just individually, but structurally and culturally." (Socha & Yingling 2) This makes it possible for someone to acknowledge that all family relationships need to be treated differently and need to be regarded from different perspectives. Even with the fact that two children lived in the same family throughout their childhood, they might have different experiences within the family and might have developed different styles of communication.

Developmental character in families

One of the most important elements in families is the developmental character. This concept is present in every family and it is responsible for shaping each individual's character and behavior. Families are in a state of constant evolution, with all families today being very different from how they were a decade ago. By taking this into account, one can attempt to find ways in which he or she can affect the way that his or her family experiences change. "Families use communication to create conditions for the development of many capacities on multiple levels (individuals, rational, group)." (Socha & Yingling 3)

In order for it to be efficient, communication does not necessarily have to be positive and cheery, as it has to occur via channels that are as effective as possible and that are thus making individuals within the family feel that their participation in all conversations influences the family in general. There are a series of character traits that someone can consider in his or her attempt to improve communication in his or her family. Honesty, appreciation of beauty, and a strong emphasis on learning can all help an individual in his efforts to improve his or her family. Even with this, the idea of a positive conversation largely depends on the way that each individual perceives the respective conversation and negotiation can occur frequently within a family as each family member attempts to impose his or her point-of-view (Socha & Yingling 4).

Intact families as a 'boring' environment

In many cases people are inclined to believe that an intact family is unlikely to experience communication problems or to display abnormalities when it comes to this topic. "Far from being a homogenous group exhibiting similar behaviors that lead to only positive outcomes for families, individual family members, and society at large, intact families exhibit a wide range of communication behaviors that are associated with both positive and negative outcomes for families and their members." (Vangelisti 180)

As previously mentioned, it would be impossible for someone to take a pattern that makes communication work in a family and apply it to a series of other families in hope that it is going to have a similar effect. Two different families can have different experiences as a result of adopting the same type of communication rules. In spite of this, there is a wide range of ideas that can help individuals in a family improve the way they communicate with each-other. Family communication patterns emerge as a consequence of the fact that individuals within a family are able to work with the purpose of creating channels that are stable and thus predictable. These respective patterns are created by having family members interact with each-other and sharing their personal social reality with each-other.

Successful family functioning

Communication is one of the most important concepts in a family because it provides individuals with the ability to express their needs and concerns to other individuals in the group. "Open and honest communication creates an atmosphere that allows family members to express their differences as well as love and admiration for one another." (Peterson & Green) One of the first things that someone needs to consider when trying to devise a more efficient communication channel in his or her family would be the series of unavoidable problems that every family comes across at least once. By acknowledging that problems do exist and that they affect family life in general, members of a family can be more likely to overcome these respective problems and to work together with the purpose to improve their relationships.

Poor communication has been found to have a number of negative effects on families. "Just as effective communication is almost always found in strong, healthy families, poor communication is usually found in unhealthy family relationships." (Peterson & Green) Because it is not clear or direct enough, poor communication makes it difficult for individuals in a family to understand each-other properly. These people can eventually come to have very unrealistic impressions of other members in their family simply because they do not communicate enough. Children in families that experience poor communication are more probable to experience behavioral problems. Conflict can become more common in such families and problem-solving processes can be very ineffective as a consequence of family members being unable to understand each-other's point-of-view. Good communication is also a sign of longer-lasting relationships, as "one researcher discovered that the more positively couples rated their communication, the more satisfied they were with their relationship five and a half years later." (Peterson & Green)

Instrumental and Affective Communication

Instrumental communication is the type of communication enabling family members to concentrate on typical family functions. For example, a parent can instruct a child with regard to the tasks that he or she needs to perform during a house cleaning process. In contrast, affective communication involves the emotions that each member of the family is experiencing. Individuals in the family share their emotions regardless of whether they are positive or negative and other family members are expected to sympathize and to provide the assistance their family needs in order to overcome problems they are experiencing.

In some families either instrumental or affective communication can be more successful than the other. In order for a family to be healthy, both types of communication need to be efficient, as only by doing this can someone connect with other members of his or her family without confusing them. When considering instrumental communication, individuals play an active role in improving the family environment through providing each-other with the guidance they need in order to be successful. If all members of a family are well-coordinated and if they are well-aware with their roles in the group, the family as a whole is more probable to have positive experiences. Furthermore, if the members of the same family are able to express their emotions openly, they are more likely to have a complex understanding of each-other and of the strategies they can use with the purpose of providing assistance in general. Communication thus makes it possible for them to have a good understanding of other family members and to know the strategies they need to use in situations when these respective family members are in need.