Compare Friendship and Love

¶ … Friendship share many deep similarities, but are also different in a number of important ways. Today's world sees love as an almost effortless romantic relationship. However, Peck argues that love is instead is sometimes complex and difficult choice that we make. Friendship can also be seen as a series of choices, rather than an effortless relationship. In any discussion of love, we must remember that their different kinds of love. Once we accept that their different kinds of love, we can begin to see close and intimate friendships as a form of love. At the same time, it is important to remember that some friendships never go so far as to develop into love.

In today's society, we most often think of love in romantic terms. Love is often equated with Valentine's Day, romantic dinners, and sexuality. To North American society, love is equated with the Cinderella story of a prince on a white horse rescuing a damsel in distress.

It is important to remember that there are many different kinds of love. The love of a mother or father for a child is a different feeling and experience than the first love that two teenagers have or one another. The love out of a grandparent towards his or her grandchildren is also profoundly different than a love of a sister or her brother, for example.

Peck feels that love is a choice that is lived out through effort, and that it is often use of romanticism and sexuality. For Peck, love is not the romantic, effortless, emotion that many people in western society hold to be true. Instead, Peck feels that love is based upon a choice to love, implying that love is based on our own conscious will and decisions. In Peck's view, life is difficult and often tedious, and love can share these same characteristics. Writes Peck, "Love is as love does. Love is an act of will-namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love."

At the same time, friendship can be seen in the same light. In today's society, often have the ideal that friendship is an effortless pairing of two individuals or soul mates, a myth that is also seen in our ideas about romantic love.

However, our modern conception of friendship seems to be less romantic and idealized in nature than our modern understanding of love. Friendship can be messy, complicated, and even sometimes unrewarding. We only have to look at some of our more famous films as an illustration. In Good Will Hunting, real-life friends Ben Affleck and Matt Damon portray a complex friendship between two young men that is often characterized by jealousy, but a deep and abiding commitment to each other.

Interestingly, friendship itself can also be based on love. This may seem counterintuitive in a society where love is largely defined as romantic feelings between two individuals. However, if we accept a definition of love that is broader, then we can see friendship as the type of love. Certainly, friendships between individuals can be as close and loving as the relationships between siblings, and other relatives.