Conflict Management I Was Pleased

Conflict Management

I was pleased that this theoretical discussion came at the end of the book, as it helps to have already been exposed to so many concepts, I can go back and think about them again armed with the theoretical perspective. I found that psychodynamic theory is interesting in particular. I found the argument that "people experience conflict because of their intrapersonal states" (p.213) is empowering. This places the emphasis squarely on each one of us to manage our own conflict, instead of finding ways to blame other people.

I think back to conflicts in my past I can see how my own state contributes to issues. I argue more during the stressful times in my life, and sometimes I think back later and wonder "what was that argument about?" It probably was about the stress I was feeling. I also thought about attribution theory, which states that "people act as they do in conflict situations because of the inferences they make about others based on their behavior" (p. 216) We experience road rage when somebody cuts us off, because we assume that person is being a jerk. That person could actually have just been listening to their GPS tell them to turn at the last minute -- if we attributed that to the person we would never get mad in the first place.

I think social exchange theory, which is that "people evaluate their interpersonal relationships in terms of their value, which is created by the costs and rewards associated with the relationship' (p.220). I see this in my interpersonal relationships, too. I sometimes go for long periods of time where I do not talk to my brother, because it can just be too much stress. I still love my brother, but when the cost of maintaining that relationship becomes too high for me I start to re-evaluate it and withdraw.