Critical incident analysis and implications

Female (Target), White (Agent)

The first time I became aware of my social group membership was when I was a young girl. I begged my mother to buy me a fashion-type Barbie doll while the two of us were shopping in the supermarket. I noticed that the doll came in two different colors -- Black and White. I realized I wanted the White doll, which looked like myself, not the Black doll. Oddly enough, although before that I had seen and played with children of other races, it never occurred to me that the images of the White dolls I played with did not look like the faces of some of the African-American little girls who were my age. I assumed everyone liked the same (White) faced dolls that I liked, because they were easier to find in stores. Gazing at the two dolls, I suddenly realized that this might not be the case.

The idea that dolls were 'girls toys' was already clear to me, given the way that dolls were represented on television. The next time I played with a girl of another race, I think I was vaguely concerned and even a bit guilty she might not like the White dolls I brought, that did not look like her, although not the same way I assumed a boy I played with would not like dressing my Barbies. At times, I preferred playing the games usually allocated to boys, and felt angry when excluded from mostly male groups, although I still enjoyed playing with my dolls. Regarding the doll's appearance, I remember being happy, feeling lucky, that it was easier to find dolls that resembled myself, and considered this in my young mind a kind of privilege.