Awe and Grandeur With Which

¶ … awe and grandeur with which the author regards his or her trip to China. This tone of voice is fairly compelling for the reader, since it presents the subject matter detailed within this essay from a fairly entertaining viewpoint that makes the reader want to continue to read the essay.

To that end, it is noteworthy that the author's tone is aided immensely by his or her vocabulary. In fact, the author's prudent choice of diction imbues the essay with a picturesque sense of detail in which the reader can actually experience some of the author's adventures and encounters. For instance, the humidity that characterized the Chinese weather during the author's visit there is wonderfully underscored by the author's usage of both verbs and adjectives, such as the allusion to the perspiration that enabled the author's brow to "moisten" within moments of disembarking from the plane, and the "slow trickle of sweat" that "ran" across his brow. In these passages the author's choice of diction actually sounds good, which is an integral component of good writing (Zinser, 36). Interestingly enough, most of the sensory details within this essay are about the intense heat which the author describes in vivid detail, and which includes references to the way "the sun baked" the Great Wall of China, and "the sweat beading on my forehead."

This sort of sensory detail definitively adds to the essay because it reinforces the verve the author experienced during his visit to China. Additionally, another strength of the essay is that the author is able to substantiate his reasons for his feelings in a concrete way that most readers can identify with. Instead of focusing on details related to his management practice course, he chose to emphasize aspect of the China's foreign culture, its different languages, its exotic and sumptuous foods, and its tourist attractions and history that sufficiently explain why this essay is filled with a tone of excitement and curiosity.

One of the primary weaknesses associated with this paper are the numerous grammatical, punctuation and syntactical errors that the author commits, and which have a tendency to distract the reader from the overall verbal portrait that the author (still) successfully paints about China. There are idiomatic errors, errors in voice number, and omissions in commas that, had these errors been corrected, would have made for a more smooth read and enabled the reader to fully immerse himself within the author's prose. Additionally, the structure of the essay is a little confusing for the reader. The last paragraph in particular detracts from the overall cohesion of this essay since it appears to simply function as a series of notes that the author is writing for his or her own benefit.