Rape Is a Less Technical

¶ … rape is a less technical term for acquaintance rape where offender is identified as a non-relative whom the victim knew personally. However the extent of this relationship may vary from case to case. In some cases, the offender and victim may have been on first date when the incident occurred while in others, they might be in steady relationship. Vast body of research on the subject reveals that date rape is a common social problem that is not limited exclusively to college students. Women of all age groups have experienced sexual coercion by a male acquaintance on a date. Pineau (1989) defines date rape as "non-aggravated sexual assault, nonconsensual sex that does not involve physical injury, or the explicit threat of physical injury" (Pineau 217). Still date rape is a vaguely defined crime: one factor that has contributed to its growth.

Some men argue that it is impossible to refrain from a crime that is not properly defined. Most others would maintain that date rape never occurred since the woman involved offered consent. Consent plays an important role in this debate and it is important to understand that in many cases, a date rape could be avoided with explicit and emphatic 'NO'. Most women especially the ones in steady relationships either do not report the incident or simply refuse to call it a rape believing that they might have led the person on. There are still others who knew if they struggled or resisted, rape would have never occurred but failed to take action on time since they worried about the future of their relationship. Legal circles have also made it quite an uphill task for a woman to report this crime and get the offender punished. This is because in most cases, court would ask for evidence of "emphatic episodic sign of resistance" (Pineau 220). But since evidence in such cases is usually missing, the case can falter and may go in favor of the accused.

Brief History of Date Rape issue:

Date rape' was first uncovered in an article by Ms. Magazine "Date Rape: A Campus Epidemic" in 1982. This article is believed to have first brought the issue to the limelight showing that an increasing number of women were being raped on dates. However it is important to mention here that much before this article appeared, Kanin's article of 1957 had mentioned date rape referring to it as aggression in "erotic intimacy." He found that 62% of college freshmen women had suffered sexual victimization on dates with partners they knew well. However it took the public another 25 years to realize the gravity of the situation. Kanin's 1957 article largely went unnoticed and date rape became a forgotten issue only to gain prominence in 1980s with Ms. Magazine's article. This sparked a series of studies on the issue, which indicated that acquaintance rape, and not stranger rape was the dominant form of sexual victimization. Amir (1971) mentioned in his book Patterns in Forcible Rape that in almost 50% of all rape cases, women knew their offenders. He further indicated that percentage of such cases was possibly much higher considering the instances of unreported cases.

Some earlier studies of violence in dating relationship did not mention the term date rape but it clearly indicated that one of the main factors leading to violence could be sexual in nature. Korman and Leslie (1982:114) further supported this finding stating that dating situations give rise to "expectations of erotically tinged experimentation and participation" and this is what leads to sexual exploitation and victimization. Koss and Oros (1982) conducted the most cited study on the subject and found that 70% of women indicated that men misunderstand the extent of intimacy desired in dating situations.

Examples:

32-year-old woman experienced the ugly reality of date rape when she found herself alone with a lawyer in her hotel room. She had met this person earlier that day as she was on a business trip and he offered to drop her off at the hotel. The man appeared decent and didn't make any sexual advances while they were talking in her room. The woman fell asleep only to find herself in an undesirable situation as she woke up. Time magazine quoted her saying: "I woke up to find him on top of me, forcing himself on me. I didn't scream or run. All I could think about was my business contacts and what if they saw me run out of my room screaming rape..."I thought it was my fault. I felt so filthy, I washed myself over and over in hot water. Did he rape me?, I kept asking myself. I didn't consent. But who's gonna believe me? I had a man in my hotel room after midnight." The case was reported in state attorney's office in Tamp but the accused couldn't be prosecuted because of lack of evidence. (Gibbs, 1991)

Date rape became a national issue when William Kennedy Smith's case hit court in Florida. The man was accused of date raping a woman he had met at a bar and later had sex with her at his home. Woman said she never offered consent and Smith had to endure public humiliation as he consistently proclaimed innocence. Everyone who knew him testified Smith was incapable of committing this crime but since date rape stories were gaining prominence, timing was thus propitious for the woman. However in Dec 1991, the court acquitted Smith of all charges thus proving that date rape was a vague crime and men can often be falsely accused. Jordan (1991) of the Washington Post reported: "William Kennedy Smith was acquitted of rape today by a jury that deliberated for 77 minutes after hearing an impassioned closing argument by his attorney who said the sexual encounter that prompted the allegation was "right out of a romance novel."

Discussion

As we mentioned above, what makes the real difference in stranger rape and date rape cases is consent. Since in a rape by stranger, there is no question of consent but in date rape cases, what the woman said, how willing she was for sexual intimacy are questions that are of ultimate significance. The case is closed and dropped the moment it is proved that woman had given her consent for matters to proceed. Therefore what a woman says or does right before the incident can make a huge difference to the case. Andrea Parrot Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the State University of New York (SUNY) Health Services Center in Syracuse, New York, has discussed this matter comprehensively in her book Coping with Date Rape and Acquaintance Rape (1988). Parrot instructs a woman to be absolutely clear and vocal about the extent to which she wants to go during an intimate encounter:

when you have decided what you want sexually, you must communicate that clearly, giving the same message with your words and your body language. If you really don't want to have sex with him, don't tell him that you just want to be friends while you let him unbutton your blouse (91).

The author feels that most women have been socially conditioned to remain quiet and demure. They cannot communicate their negative feelings properly, believing this would hurt their relationship.

Don't tell him that you don't want to have sex because you don't have any means of birth control; he may have a condom (rubber) in his wallet. If you don't want to have sex, make that clear with time parameters, such as, "I don't go to bed on the first date," or "I want to wait until marriage." If you say, "I don't want to have sex right now," he may think that five minutes later will be all right (91).

Research shows that more often than not, men misinterpret friendliness for sexual attraction on part of the woman and proceed as if that was what the woman wanted too. They however understand that when a woman says No, it means No. But unless she is explicitly clear about her intentions and expectations, men are unable to read her mind. Joseph Weinberg, a rape-prevention educator, explains:

To prove their masculinity men learn to lie about their sexual activity, to talk about sex in crude and violent language and to refer to it as something done to a woman rather than with her. They learn that it's the woman's job to say no if she doesn't want sex and that "real men don't ask" (Read 7A).

The answer to the question How far is too far is something that most men would never actively seek. They would rather have a woman tell them when to stop and how far they should go. Mary Koss (1988) wrote in Psychology of Women Quarterly that in 1984 study involving 930 San Francisco victims, it was found that almost 88% of women knew their offenders. Most women appeared naive about labeling the situation as rape. Koss maintains that most women didn't call the incident rape because "greater investment in not labeling that situation as rape" Katie Roiphe (1993) was less sympathetic of women in this scenario. She argues that women must accept responsibility for what happens on a date and men must not always be blamed for the situation. She felt that vague definition of date rape was making more women feel like victims: