Psychological and biblical perspectives on releasing resentment

¶ … Resentment

The first reason to let go of resentment from a psychological perspective is that it generally goes much further back than just the most recent event that provoked the resentment -- resentment can manifest from holding onto emotional baggage. For example, if you feel resentment in response to the way someone has recently treated you, it may very well be in response of a longer history of unhappiness that can sometimes go back to childhood. You may feel someone has been overly mean to you which fosters a sense of resentment, however you could also be overly sensitive to this type of behavior due to the fact that you have had previous bad experiences in the past. Thus resentment may be more deeply rooted than most people realize.

Another psychological reason to address feelings of resentment deals with forgiveness. Forgiveness can be thought of as voluntarily letting go of negative emotions. Holding on to resentment is also similar to refusing to forgive someone. Instead of letting go and forgiving, we fulfill the need to be "right" about something and hope to somehow achieve justice by not letting go. However, instead of being able to receive any kind of justice, by holding on and not forgiving you are actually punishing yourself -- a form of chronic punishment.

Another psychological reason to let go of resentment, is that is represents an addictive state of mind. Instead of allowing your mind to free itself of whatever injustice it has perceived to have experienced, it instead focuses on that perception and is basically stuck on it. An addictive behavior is one that reoccurs, despite adverse consequences. Being stuck on one experience can be similar to an addiction. Instead of letting go of the event, you become essentially addicted to maintain resentment in your mind.

One final psychological reason to let go of the feeling of resentment, is that an individual that is harboring resentment for some kind of abusive episode, also had a part to play in letting that abuse come about. The individual could have most likely done something different to stop the abusive behavior or incident. Thus, it is generally the case there is some personal responsibility that can be derived some such instances. Therefore, it is often the case that you can accept responsibility for your own part in the incident and be better prepared to protect yourself in any similar situations in the future.

There are many passages in the Bible that address forgiveness and resentment as well. Mark (11:25) says that "and whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." In this passage Mark is highlighting the importance of forgiveness because God will forgive us in the end. It is somewhat similar to the Golden Rule except instead of acting in the way you wish to be treated by others, you are to act in the way in which you would want God to treat you.