Why Women Dump Men First Reasons for Separating

¶ … Mona: Are Women More Likely Than Men to End a Relationship?

Mona finds that 60 to 80% of divorces are initiated (that is, filed) by the woman (in the U.S.). That, however, does not get a precise account of what actually goes on behind the scenes. It could very well be that men give the women reason to file (perhaps they hint that they want out and the woman, offended, takes the initiate to file suit). In the old days, divorce was less common and there had to be suitable reason for suing for divorce, such as a cheating spouse. Thus, if women are filing, it could very well indicate that their husbands had already left the marriage contract and sought companionship outside it. This does not mean, however, that such was always the case. The man writing the letter to Mona gives no indication that he has cheated or done anything to inspire his wife to want to leave him. But I'm sure there is more to the story: there always is. And as Mona concurs, "there's data showing that couples sometimes disagree about who initiated a divorce." In other words, filing does not necessarily translate into first initiated.

Nonetheless, other data reveals that in non-married relationships, women are more likely than men to dump their partners. Again, the factors contributing to the dumping are unknown and each case should probably be examined on its own merits with more qualitative data to really understand what is going on in these situations. Still, in both cases (married and non-married) the data shows that women do the breaking up (in final terms) more than men do, and it is a significant difference that speaks, perhaps, to the differences in the male and female psyche.

According to Brinig and Allen, the three explanations for why women file for divorce are 1) they feel over-exploited, 2) they no longer feel like they need his financial support, and 3) they expect to get and keep custody of the children (and this is, statistically speaking, the primary reason or support that women have when filing for divorce). In short, because they don't expect to be denied custody, they have no incentive to remain in the marriage. Other reasons for why women may want to file divorce could be that they want to liberate themselves or get back on their husbands, who they may feel have been neglectful or unappreciative.