Definitional Argument What Is Friendship? Most People

Definitional Argument

What is friendship?

Most people have 'friends' in the sense that they have people with whom they spend their time. However, when asked what 'true friendship is' merely being the acquaintance of someone does not suffice as an answer. Friendship is something deeper than going shopping with someone or playing a game of pick-up basketball, although our friends may share our hobbies. A true friend will also be willing to sit by our side in silence during a difficult time, like a parent's illness. Friends share laughter and fun, but they are also willing to share experiences that are difficult and painful.

Trust is perhaps the most important aspect of true friendship: we trust our friends with our secrets. We trust our friends to tell us the truth. And when we do hear the truth, although it may hurt, we know that the friend's words come from a place of love rather than meanness, spite, or self-interest. A friend might say that you are going down a wrong path, you hurting yourself by ignoring your schoolwork, dating someone who shows you no respect, or that you are forgetting your goals. It is easy not to say hard truths, for fear of making the listener angry. In one instance, I know of someone who was forced to report that his friend was contemplating suicide to an adult. In these instances, friendship can be a difficult burden, but as a friend, we have an obligation to help, not to put our own feelings above the needs of our friend.

Because of the trust between them, friends can share their dearest hopes and darkest fears. Some people say: "my parent is not just my parent, they are also my friend." It can be a challenge to have a nonjudgmental and honest discussion with fathers and mothers, but when a parent is a friend as well as a caretaker, that relationship is particularly special. This means that the parent, as well as providing guidance, can also see the world from the child's perspective. A friend does not have to agree with everything the other person says, but he or she does acknowledge that other person's perspective as valid.

Friends can be found everywhere -- within our own family, at school, and at work. At most places we inhabit, we have friends of varying levels of intimacy. We may have true friends we know from work, but not every person we speak to at the water cooler is a friend. Friends may be our flesh and blood, or they may not. Not every relative is a friend, given that we may not trust a cousin or even a brother or sister with our deepest confidences. We may respect our colleagues and love our relatives, but they do not all have the coveted status of 'true friend.'

Friends comfort us and guide us with their words, and sometimes just with their gestures. An animal can be a friend, because they are loyal and loving to us, even when they cannot verbalize their sympathy. A lick of the hand or a wagging tail can give us a sense of friendship and connection, much like a silent and loving hand. Sometimes friends are not animate beings at all. A book can be a friend -- sometimes challenging us, sometimes comforting us, but always 'there' when we need it most.