Emotional Intelligence, in Contrast to Intellectual Intelligence,

Emotional intelligence, in contrast to intellectual intelligence, concerns self-awareness, feelings and emotions, and relationships. One measure of emotional intelligence is self-management, which is the ability to manage one's emotions in healthy ways, control impulsive feelings and behaviors, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changes. I feel strongly that I have demonstrated a high level of achievement with three of these. However, I do need to make improvements in my ability to handle my emotions in healthy ways.

People frequently comment on my ability to remain calm. When there is a paper due for class or an upcoming exam, I do not appear to be worried. I keep up with assignments, I do not skip class, and I take really good notes. I have one friend who likes to tell people he forgot to study or that he fell asleep over his books. When he inevitably does well on a test, he still likes to claim he had not studied. I think he wants people to think he is just naturally smart and everything comes to him effortlessly. I am not like that. I do not mind that people know I work hard -- I just do not believe they know exactly how hard I work and how much time I devote to my studies. On the morning of a test, even though I know I have prepared, I feel ill. Usually I have not slept well the night before, worrying whether there is something else I should have done. I also worry that I will somehow oversleep and miss the exam entirely. I have never had that experience, but it still haunts me.

My experiences on the job are similar. I feel I work hard when I am there, but I never complain. I try not to involve myself in workplace gossip. I try to be friendly with everyone, but professional at the same time. I do whatever my boss asks of me and I do not complain. I sometimes feel that, because I do not whine and moan like some of the other employees, there is a perception that I am not working as hard. I worry about that sometimes when I am not at work. I also worry that I will be laid off, which would be disastrous because I really need the job. No one has been laid off in the time that I have worked there. My boss has given no indications the situation will change. My performance reviews have been very good. I even have a bit of seniority because there were people hired after me. In other words, I have no good reasons to worry about my job yet, as with school, I find myself fretting late at night. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping.

A friend has suggested that I take a class in yoga and meditation. To date, I have resisted taking the class. I think it is a good idea, but I am very busy and I am not sure when I would find the time. My friend says this excuse is precisely why I need to take the class!