Diary of Urban Dweller From the Diary of Mr. Praisegod Romney, Merchant of Boston, November 1688.

Today, I witnessed the hanging of the Irish witch, Goodwife Ann Glover, and it inspired in me a desire for closer-self-examination and reflection on my relationship with God, my family and the community of saints here in New England. Goodwife Glover was a woman with an evil reputation who had been sold into slavery in the West Indies with her husband, and he had been put to death there for refusing to renounce his Catholic faith, which of course is all Papist superstition and idolatry. She was accused of bewitching the family of Mr. John Goodwin of Boston, a sober and well-respected citizen of this city, after she and her daughter had been caught stealing from the household. She spoke English only poorly, and out of stubbornness persisted in using the native Irish language, which few of us understand. She could not even recite the Lord's Prayer in English at her trial or simply refused to do so. Even when the put the noose around her neck, she still refused to renounce the Catholic Church and because of her wickedness and obstinate nature has now been consigned to eternal hellfire -- praise God. Although the crowd also wanted to put her cat to death, since it was obviously a demonic imp and tool of the Devil, this creature was rescued at the last minute by Mr. Robert Calef, also a merchant of Boston and a thoroughly impious man who doubts that witches exist and insists that the earth revolves around the son, as well as many other modern, heretical doctrines based on natural science and philosophy. I have no doubt that he will also end up on the gallows one of these days.

Reflecting on my own situation after 48 long years in this world of pain, misery, suffering and sin, I can at least take satisfaction in being a full church member and succeeding...

I do look forward to my release from all these worldly cares and duties so I can take my place in heaven, as the Lord promises to all true Christian believers. My first wife Hosanna died young in childbirth, but my second wife Hallelujah has been a good and faithful companion these 22 years, skilled at her household duties, modest, chaste and obedient to me as governor of this household. We had eight children but three died very young of some disease or another, which is of course normal in this world. Nothing can be done about such losses, but since they were baptized, I have every hope of seeing them in heaven. My oldest son is a student at Harvard College, preparing for the ministry, and I have hopes that his younger brothers will follow him there, although their callings seem to run along more commercial and material lines than the ministry, which is the most important profession of all. I have yet to arrange marriages for my two daughters, but they will be well-supplied with dowries to attract useful and suitable husbands, and they have been well trained in their wifely and household duties, including sewing, cooking and cleaning, which the will of God has assigned to women. Unlike the two oldest boys, though, the others are still only halfway members of the church and do not take communion, although I pray night and day that they will all have their own conversion experiences and then be able to join all the other saints in Paradise when their time comes.
I have been blessed by the Lord with a measure of material success on this earth, through no efforts or special worthiness of my own, and not even the King of Kings Lord Jesus was ashamed to work in the world at humble tasks. All honest work is worthy in the eyes of the Lord, and we have seen our city prosper as it serves the commerce and shipping of many…