Social Control Mechanisms/Sanction Interact Life a Daily

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Gender socialization: Pains and perils

As soon as someone is born, the first question asked is: "is the baby a boy or a girl?" No matter how much society has advanced, in terms of the way it has expanded the perceived gender roles for men and women, this fact has remained constant: gender defines everything regarding a person's perceived social character, in subtle as well as obvious ways.

As early as kindergarten, I can recall girls and boys segmenting themselves off in gender-specific play groups. Even if girls and boys would play together in their neighborhoods, in school the boys tended to play sports, while girls would play more social games together, such as doing crafts, talking, or playing with dolls. Having friends required staying on the 'correct' side of the playground.

Today, I see how many girls from a young age are dressed in a manner to emphasize their femininity. Even when playing sports, little girls are often given pink sneakers and warm-up sets while boys are given jerseys of their father's favorite sports stars. The message is that girls can 'be whatever they want to be' in modern society, but that their method of self-presentation must still be highly feminine. Girls who are unable to engage in such a play of girlish cuteness and undercut their accomplishments with a feminine display tend to receive less praise and approval; boys who do not act appropriately masculine are often teased and bullied.

At my high school, quite often the most popular students were those who were the most gendered in terms of their social presentation: even girls who were high achievers in spots and academics dressed in a manner to emphasize their femininity and sexuality. I saw that girls who were less conventionally attractive were mocked for being nerds; girls who are athletically gifted but not hyper-feminine were mocked as asexual. The social rewards are considerable for males who are able to be dominating, masculine, and aggressive with the opposite gender (although some have noted that this can cause males to underperform in school, given that these values are not celebrated as much in the classroom). For girls, if they do not embody the feminine ideal they will likely have less romantic and social success, but even very attractive girls may find themselves ostracized by their female peers and taunted for being overly sexual.