Diversity experience reflection and personal growth

Gay & Lesbian Studies

Reflection upon an Experience at a Battered Women's Shelter

For the purposes of this paper, the subject of my diversity experience is my visit to a shelter for women who are victims of domestic abuse and any children they might have in their custody. I began by performing some rudimentary Internet research about centers in my area. I was particularly interested in centers that serviced women with children. I wanted to volunteer my time with children who in urgent need of healthy adult contact. I feel children from abused homes especially should have examples of adults who they can feel safe around. I also wanted to provide women in unsafe relationships time to relax and perhaps focus on themselves while someone else responsible, mature, caring, and safe attended to their children. I had a passing conversation with a friend who knew of a center and I contacted that center based on my friend's recommendation. It was no problem to schedule a time to come in and commit some free time.

One of the first aspects of my experience that struck me were the different kinds of women who were present. There were some women that were homeless. There were others that looked comfortable or well-off. There were young women, middle-aged women, and a few older women. The variety of women present at the shelter was an immediate shock to me. I do not have a direct experience with domestic abuse. For me, it is an issue that I see in the media, dramatic and news, but it is not an issue in my life. In high school, one of the star athletes at my high school had a reputation for being a "wife-beater." A friend I met during my first year of college told me stories about her abusive ex-boyfriend from high school. Otherwise, I am happy to say that I have never been abused or been an abuser. The fact that men and women can be abusers and the abused was another shock about my experience at the shelter.

I was somewhat nervous upon entering the center. I was nervous mostly because I was uncertain as to the emotional stability of the women who would be there. I imagine that abuse in any form is very damaging to a person, especially when the abuse comes from a person who is supposed to love you in positive ways, such as a spouse or parent. There were some staff around tending to the various needs of the center. One staff gave me a short tour of the facility and introduced me to people as we walked along. The atmosphere felt very cozy, comforting, and safe. At first, I was concerned because I noticed it was fairly quiet, but then when we approached one of the play areas for the children, the space filled with the sounds of play.

I spent some time listening to a few women tell stories or just chat while I sat with a child on my lap. Sometimes the child and I would play with a toy while he/she sat with me and I would listen or talk with them. I found it interesting that most women really wanted or preferred a person who would listen to them and talk about topics that interested them. I watched a toddler, boy, for about thirty minutes while his mother took a short nap. She was exhausted and he was wide awake. The two of us sat together and read books while his mother rested. His speaking and reading skills did not seem at the average level, but he was very attentive and enjoyed all of the stories. I did my best to read the stories in an animated way, especially the scary or funny books such as "The Stinky Cheese Man."