Divorce and Its Effects on

Divorce and Its Effects on the Children Over and over, we have been taught that family is the fundamental social institution; that it is the basic unit of the society. This very much echoes a macro perspective on the family. But indeed, a micro take on this subject matter wages equitable interest.

What really happens inside a family? Moreover, what happens when your basic social institution falls apart? It is in this light that this paper shall attempt to discuss the causes of divorce, putting heavier thrust on the effects of divorce on children. Statistics show that divorce has become quite common since the last thirty years. According to Cherlin, in 1992, it was postulated that almost half of all marriages would end in divorce if these rates persists (qtd. In Storksen et al. 75).

According to New York Times, more current divorce rates show a downward revision from 50% to 43% (Divorce Reform). Amidst the downward revision of divorce rates, the ubiquity of the divorce practice cannot be easily refuted, as the decrease is not highly significant. At this point, Black is worth noting as he states, "Divorce is ubiquitous, touching us in the immediacy of our own relationships, in our families of origin, in our couple and family therapy practice...and in our own research" (1).

If divorce has gained such a ubiquitous status in the American society, the next question that runs in our heads would simply be, "what causes divorce?" Poor communication, financial problems, lack of commitment to the marriage, dramatic change in priorities, and infidelity are the more common cause of marital breakdown. For young married couples, time, sex, and money are considered the biggest contributing factors for a divorce (Divorce Reform).

From what we have seen in this enumeration, it is important to point out that the causes of divorce are highly correlated with particularly distinct circumstances and experiences, as well as socio-economic factors and other cohort effects.

Aside from the legalities and other technical considerations, is it not the case that when we talk about divorce, it mostly boils down to the ultimate question of "What about the children?" and/or "What will happen to the children? A number of empirical studies have already profiled children with divorced parents in the hope of providing a more grounded understanding of the effects of divorce to children. These effects are summarized in three categories: Socio-Behavioral.

Studies have shown that children with divorced parents have higher inferiority in academic performance as compared to children with non-divorced parents. According to Forehand, these children are found to have most problems like aggressiveness and impulsivity (qtd. In Brown "How Does Divorce Affect Adolescents?"). Among pre-school children, it has been found that they tend to blame themselves for their parents' divorce resulting to them displaying baby-like behavior, becoming uncooperative, and depressed.

School-aged children on the other hand, tend to be resentful, angry, and embarrassed but their involvement in play activities definitely helps them in coping with this kind of set-up. For adolescents, their capability to remember the stress they went through during the divorce interferes with their coping techniques (Family and Consumer Resources 1+). Interestingly, gender plays a role in the child's behavior after the divorce. Boys raised by fathers and girls raised by mothers tend to be better off than those raised by a parent of the opposite sex.

Boys raised by their fathers have lesser emotional problems while girls raised by their mothers are likely to be more responsible and mature (ibid.). Social problems have also been observed among children of divorced families primarily because of the set-up or living arrangements that they have. According to Avo, these children tend to carry more responsibilities like taking care of siblings and doing household chores causing lesser time spent for friends and for socialization opportunities.

Because of this, many of these children tend to harbor anger feelings and even frustration towards their parents. This and other related-problems have been the cause of depression among teenagers of divorced families (quoted in Brown "How Does Divorce Affect Adolescents?"). Effects on Future Relationships. Mack's (436+) empirical findings show that those who came from divorce families reported lower quality of parent-child relationship as compared to those whose families are intact.

This may be a result of the child's anger during his own parent's divorce being reproduced in his or her very own relationship with his or her child. Additionally, Brown ("How Does Divorce Affect Adolescents?") mentions that in the dating phase, children with divorced parents tend to experience distrust at high levels, do not prefer to get into serious relationships which is highly linkable to high distrust, and they are also more prone to break-ups. During marriage, these children also tend to get a divorce as well.

But this is simply painting children of divorce families in a rather negative way when in fact positive things might actually result from negative experience such as divorce. Empowerment. According to Hetherington & Kelly (qtd. In 1) three-fourths of the children from divorced families have actually grown to be resilient and lead lives with healthy and satisfying relationships.

This is further strengthened by the result of my interview with a 21-year-old respondent who's parents divorced when she was 12 years old as she narrates, "...it [parent's divorce] was a really dark moment of my life but I have come to the realization that there's no other better way than accepting this dark truth and move on with my life. Since then, it has been easier for me to narrate this moment of my life. I also felt that I have become stronger especially in facing my very own problems.

Now, I live by the belief that I have experienced the worst [the divorce], there could be nothing harder than that." When asked if she had problems creating relationships with other people, she replied, "At first yes, [but] it will be just a phase. It is something that you will outgrow. I have very good friends and I can confidently say that I trust them with my life. My romantic relationship has been going on quite steadily too, I've been going out with this guy for almost 2 years.

You see, you can never always attribute everything to your parent's divorce. You can only choose between two things, allow the divorce to get the better of you or allow the divorce to create a better you. In my case, I'm proud I chose the latter." This paper has established at the onset that divorce has become a common practice since almost thirty years ago. Its high rate is moving steadily as well. Some of the more common causes of divorce are financial problems, communication problems, and commitment problems.

We have also discussed and elaborated on the effects of divorce to children. Socio-behavioral effects as well as effects in the children's future relationships have been noted. On a positive note, we have seen that divorce can be empowering for the child as well. This discussion was better grounded and contextualized by the narration of my respondent who has had experienced divorce at the tender age of 12. I hope that this paper has shed light on the importance of the family as a fundament social institution.

It is of common knowledge that the family is the person's basic social agent. The family molds the character and values of the person. The corrosion of this institution leads to very important and note-worthy effects. Not only does it affect the immediate environment of the child but it also affects the child's future relationships. This paper also exposes the positive effect of divorce on children, particularly on how it can empower the person.

As a final note, allow me to reiterate that the positive or negative outcomes of divorce largely draw upon the way parents handled the conflict. They may not be the good wives or husbands in the world, but it is their responsibility to be better parents to their children. References Black, Evan. "Reflections on the Special Issue: Divorce and its Aftermath." Family Process 46.1. (2007): 1-2. For Black, the practice of divorce has become a ubiquitous practice affecting not only one's immediate relationships but also other domains of one's life.

Black provided a grounded and contextual understanding of divorce via the story of the travails of a single mother with two children. Brown, Kimberly. How Does Divorce Affect Adolescents? n.d. Oberlin College. 25 Nov 2006 http://www.oberlin.edu/faculty/ndarling/adfamb2.htm. Brown provided a deep die profiling information on children with divorced parents. Not only does divorce affect the immediate behavior of the children.