Divorce as a Moral Issue

¶ … divorce inherently immoral? Does its morality depend on the presence of children in a marriage? Views vary on the ethical issue of divorce, for some believe marriage to be a scared institution sanctioned and governed by religious bodies, while others view it as purely a secular matter. If one or both of the married partners are unhappy, should divorce be an option? Or should the institution of marriage be preserved no matter what obstacles are in its path?

Laurence Houlgate quotes Rebecca West in the opening of his article: "divorce is nearly always an unspeakable calamity." Studies show that children do suffer dearly from the consequences of divorce. On several accounts, children bear the largest burden of the parents' faults. Despite arguments to the contrary, Houlgate cites ample evidence supporting the theory that children experience psychological and behavioral problems following a divorce. Many of these effects last for years. Long-term studies show that the detrimental effects of divorce on children include decreased performance in school and behavior problems. Based on these empirical findings, Houlgate created what he calls the Divorce Child-Harm Argument, or the DCH. The DCH is a logical ethical formula: If parents are obliged to treat their children well, and if divorce does indeed harm children, then it is morally wrong to divorce. Because divorce can wreak as much havoc as any physical or mental abuse, divorce is immoral. However, divorce in itself is not a form of abuse. Thus, it is difficult to prove the DCH, even as it makes logical sense.

In some cases, divorce may, however, be the moral choice. If one or both parents are abusive, divorce may be preferable to sustaining the marriage. But in cases where the parents merely argue and could benefit from counselling or introspection, there is no real need for divorce. Because divorce laws are so lax in the United States, many couples probably rush into divorce without giving due consideration to the meaning of commitment and integrity. As an issue of ethics, divorce violates some of the basic human ethical codes, including commitment to promises made. Children make divorce more of a complicated issue; many parents stay together "for the children," and sacrifice personal happiness. This raises the ethical question, does the ends justify the means? Is the unhappiness of both parents less important than the potential unhappiness of the child? Some children of divorced parents turn out fine, while children of parents who stayed married often have behavioral problems, too. Many people cite the need for both parents to ensure the mental health of children. But in households where one parent is deceased, do the children suffer similar problems? Other issues to take into consideration when discussing the morality of divorce include the fundamental changes in the household: income levels drop and resources change. Children may be forced to move to a new area and to a new school, and forming new friends can prove stressful. Second or third marriages and the stepfamilies that come with them may be no better than the initial marriage. Often, children stuck with stepparents they do not like have a harder time adjusting than children without a father or mother figure. Then again, if the divorce ends an uncomfortable or abusive marriage, these changes may all be for the better.