Overprotective Parenting as Teenagers, Children Are Very

¶ … Overprotective Parenting

As teenagers, children are very dependent on their parents. They rely on parents for food and shelter, for transportation, for financial support, and so on. However, parents often take their responsibilities too far, and their concern for the child's welfare and desire to be good parents may cause them to stifle the child's growth. This kind of parenting is known as overprotective parenting.

In ideal situations, parents allow for a gradual progression of independence. Discipline, rules, standards and expectations are applied in direct ratio to age. In younger years, children need a great deal of guidance and control in order to prevent serious and harmful mistakes from being made. But as they grow in maturity and experience, they are capable of making more choices for themselves. They can begin to deal with the consequences of their mistakes.

This research paper aims to take an in-depth look at the causes and consequences of overprotective parenting, and create a possible solution for the problem of overprotective parents.

Introduction:

Children are so small and delicate when they are born that parents cannot help but feel protective of their little bundles of joy. Because they brought the child into the world, they feel that they must look out for him or her. This is a natural and healthy response to a new baby.

However, as the child grows, so does their need for independence. This is where the role of a parent gets tricky. Many parents take their guardian roles too far. They have the best intentions, in most cases, as they aim to shield their children from harm. However, they smother their child, preventing them from fulfilling their needs for freedom and growing up.

Overprotective parents often do not understand that a big part of parenting is preparing their children to live independently in the real world. By finding a healthy balance between their desire to protect and their children's need for independence, a parent is giving their child necessary survival skills. If this does not happen, children may become emotionally dependent or rebellious, depending on individual circumstances.

Why are parents overprotective and how does it damage their children? Is there a way to help overprotective parents before it is too late? This research paper will examine the problem of overprotective parenting and present a clear solution.

Methods

Various studies and books have discussed the problem of overprotective parenting, showing how parents can irreversibly damage their children by smothering them. This research paper will dig into the findings of various psychologists, social workers, and other experts to uncover the causes and outcomes of overprotective parenting. These findings will lead to a solution for the problem.

Results

It is important that parents, who want their children to grow up as independent, confident adults, steer clear of overprotective parenting. Often, an overprotective attitude is ridiculously protective and inhibiting and can be prevented. This research paper will show that other methods of parenting are far more affective and healthy than overprotective parenting.

Assignment #2 -- Bibliography

Crick, N.R. Relational Aggression: The Role of Intent Attributions, Feelings of Distress, and Provocation Type. Development and Psychopathology. 1995.

Fay, Jim. Parenting Teens With Love & Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood. Navpress. 1993.

Espurva, David. The Complete Guide to Overprotective Parenting. Hansson, 2000.

Foster, W Cline. Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility. Navpress, 1993.

Hayes, Kent. Why Good Parents Have Bad Kids: How to Make Sure That Your Child Grows Up Right. Doubleday. 1989.

Oden, S. The Development of Social Competence in Children. National Center for Research on Teacher Learning. 1987.

Steinberg, L. Cognitive Transitions in Adolescence (pp 62-98). McGraw-Hill. 1996.

Webb, Margot. Coping with Overprotective Parents. Rosen Publishing Group. 1990.

Overprotective Parenting, Trinity Counseling Services, 2001: http://www.trinitycounseling.org/articles/overprotective.html.

Harsh parenting linked to lack of empathy in children. Rueter's Health. July 17, 2001.

Assignment #3 -- Formal Outline

Outcomes of Overprotective Parenting

Thesis statement: As teenagers, children are very dependent on their parents. They rely on parents for food and shelter, for transportation, for financial support, and so on. However, parents often take their responsibilities too far, and their concern for the child's welfare and desire to be good parents may cause them to stifle the child's growth. This kind of parenting is known as overprotective parenting.

In ideal situations, parents allow for a gradual progression of independence. Discipline, rules, standards and expectations are applied in direct ratio to age. In younger years, children need a great deal of guidance and control in order to prevent serious and harmful mistakes from being made. But as they grow in maturity and experience, they are capable of making more choices for themselves. They can begin to deal with the consequences of their mistakes.

Introduction and Statement of the Problem

Fine Line Between Concern and Overprotective Attitudes

Reactions to Overprotective Parenting

Study of Overprotective Parenting

In Defense of Overprotective Parents

How to Prevent Overprotective Parenting

III. Conclusion

Assignment #4 -- Thesis Statement

As teenagers, children are very dependent on their parents. They rely on parents for food and shelter, for transportation, for financial support, and so on. However, parents often take their responsibilities too far, and their concern for the child's welfare and desire to be good parents may cause them to stifle the child's growth. This kind of parenting is known as overprotective parenting.

In ideal situations, parents allow for a gradual progression of independence. Discipline, rules, standards and expectations are applied in direct ratio to age. In younger years, children need a great deal of guidance and control in order to prevent serious and harmful mistakes from being made. But as they grow in maturity and experience, they are capable of making more choices for themselves. They can begin to deal with the consequences of their mistakes.

The parent who tries to protect the child totally from this process can harm the child. Overprotective parenting creates children who are incapable of making decisions and exercising responsibility. In addition, parents who are unable to give their children freedom may make it impossible for their children ever to feel genuine affection or appreciation for them.

Paragraph from Body

Parents also know, from their own experiences, how easy it is to make wrong decisions. For every right direction to take, there is at least one wrong direction, and possible many more. (Steinberg, 1996) They probably have made bad choices throughout their lives, and have seen their friends made bad decisions. They want the best for their children and feel that they are responsible for making sure their children don't make the mistakes that they did.

Assignment #5 -- Bibliography

Crick, N.R. Relational Aggression: The Role of Intent Attributions, Feelings of Distress, and Provocation Type. Development and Psychopathology. 1995.

Fay, Jim. Parenting Teens With Love & Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood. Navpress. 1993.

Espurva, David. The Complete Guide to Overprotective Parenting. Hansson, 2000.

Foster, W Cline. Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility. Navpress, 1993.

Hayes, Kent. Why Good Parents Have Bad Kids: How to Make Sure That Your Child Grows Up Right. Doubleday. 1989.

Oden, S. The Development of Social Competence in Children. National Center for Research on Teacher Learning. 1987.

Steinberg, L. Cognitive Transitions in Adolescence (pp 62-98). McGraw-Hill. 1996.

Webb, Margot. Coping with Overprotective Parents. Rosen Publishing Group. 1990.

Overprotective Parenting, Trinity Counseling Services, 2001: http://www.trinitycounseling.org/articles/overprotective.html.

Harsh parenting linked to lack of empathy in children. Rueter's Health. July 17, 2001.

Assignment #6 -- Revised Paragraphs

Unfortunately, in most cases, the more overprotective parents are, the more rebellious their children will be. They are likely to go against the rules that were set before they matured, seeing these rules are constraining and smothering. Many adults do not realize that refusing to let go of their children and give them freedom will most likely hurt them when they leave home.

When teenagers with extremely overprotective parents leave home for the first time, the freedom of college or living alone may be very difficult to bear. There is no one to monitor or check up on them, as they have become dependent on. There is a lack of feeling of family and, for overprotected kids, this can make them feel lonely or incompetent. Teenagers, especially girls, with overprotective parents may become promiscuous because they were not allowed to mature properly and make their own choices.

Overprotective parents should understand that a big part of parenting is preparing their children to live independently in the real world. By finding a healthy balance between their desire to protect and their children's need for independence, a parent is giving their child the best gift there is - survival skills.

Assignment #6 -- Complete Research Paper

Introduction and Statement of the Problem

As teenagers, children are very dependent on their parents. They rely on parents for food and shelter, for transportation, for financial support, and so on. However, parents often take their responsibilities too far, and their concern for the child's welfare and desire to be good parents may cause them to stifle the child's growth. This kind of parenting is known as overprotective parenting.

In ideal situations, parents allow for a gradual progression of independence. Discipline, rules, standards and expectations are applied in direct ratio to age. In younger years, children need a great deal of guidance and control in order to prevent serious and harmful mistakes from being made. (Fay, 1993) But as they grow in maturity and experience, they are capable of making more choices for themselves. They can begin to deal with the consequences of their mistakes.

The parent who tries to protect the child totally from this process can harm the child. Overprotective parenting creates children who are incapable of making decisions and exercising responsibility. In addition, parents who are unable to give their children freedom may make it impossible for their children ever to feel genuine affection or appreciation for them.

Overprotective Parents

When a parent first sees their child, he or she seems so delicate and gentle that their immediate response is to feel nurturing and extremely protective. Parents feel that they have brought this tiny child into the world and accept the responsibility for being the child's guardian for the rest of their lives.

Many parents take this guardian role too far. While it is their intention to shield their children from any possible harm, often they do so at the expense of their child's need for freedom and growing up. (Oden, 1987) Children do not want to tiptoe and cautiously walk through life. It is in their nature to run, jump and explore. Parents must accept the scratches, bruises and hurt feelings that come with growing up. Parents of teenage children must allow them the independence and trust needed to make responsible decisions, or the results can be negative.

Often, when an overprotective parent interferes between their child and the real world, they do not realize that it is causing their child more harm than good. Parents who constantly fear for their child's safety and become overprotective toward their child can have a negative effect on their child's self-confidence and self-esteem. With overprotective parenting, children tend to become more dependent and feel that they are incapable of doing things on their own.

Some parents do not allow their children to mingle with others or participate in social events. This can be detrimental to children because it leads to a loss of identity in children. (Fay, 1993) As adults, they may suffer from low self-esteem and have poor decision-making capabilities.

For example, if Sally was raised by overprotective parents who watched her every move and helped her make every decision in grade school and high school, she may be dependent on them even after she goes off to college. Decision-making is where children create their identity and develop confidence. (Espurva, 2000) Sally may not have the decision-making abilities she needs to deal with the real world.

Fine Line Between Concern and Overprotective Attitudes

Still, this does not mean that parents should not exercise caution. While children need independence, they also need guidance, as they are often unaware of the dangers and risks in the world. It is difficult for parents to know where to draw the line between concern and overprotective parenting.

Overprotective parents see every physical or social activity as being potentially dangerous. They tend to feel reassured only when their child is under their watchful eyes. They are constantly anxious that something bad will happen to their child and take unnecessary precautions to prevent harm to them. (Webb, 1990) They are constantly hovering over their children, full of advice and warnings. They prohibit their children to be involved in any activity that has the slightest possibility of accident or harm. These parents can be said to be overprotective or have inappropriate fears.

Overprotective parents often transmit their fears to their children, who become just like them. They perceive danger lurking in every activity and event. Studies show that children with overprotective parents actually experience more falls and injuries than those who are left to play without hovering parents.

Perhaps this is because they doubt their abilities and their fears get in the way of playing. Parents who fear that an activity may be risky should warn their children beforehand rather than while they are engaged in the activity. Otherwise, the warnings merely serve to transmit the fear to the children and distract them, leading to a greater probability of an accident.

Children are provided with a great sense of pride when they accomplish something on their own for the first time, whether it be riding a bicycle or going off to college, and overprotective parents can unknowingly dent them of these pleasures.

As the overprotective parent enters their child's teenage years, hovering right by their child's side, they may be resented. (Fay, 1993) Older children do not see their overprotective nature as a sign of love and concern. Instead, they usually feel that their parents do not trust them or think that they are responsible. Often, they reject the values instilled in them when they leave home.

Reactions To Overprotective Parents

There are two reactions to the overprotective parents: compliance and resistance. Compliance is usually shown by children who have become doubtful of their capabilities, as the result of parents who were too vocal in their fears, constantly giving them warnings of the possible dangers of everything. (Oden, 1997) Resistance and defiance are alternative reactions to these methods of parenting.

Parents of these children often find that they lose credibility in the eyes of their children. Their children, as they get older, see that their extreme views of the world as a dangerous place are exaggerated. They feel that they are denied the normal pursuits of their peers merely because their parents have unfounded and baseless fears. Such children react with resistance because they believe that their parents perceive them as being accident-prone and having poor judgment.

In Defense of Overprotective Parents

Parents want the best for their children. They want their children to grow up safe, happy and free of pain. Often, they are overprotective for a variety of reasons. (Foster, 1993) They are afraid that their children will grow up and not need their help. Their child's growing sense of independence tells them something they knew would one day come, but would rather forget: One day, their children will leave home forever. These parents see their child's independence and are scared that they will lose them completely.

Parents also know, from their own experiences, how easy it is to make wrong decisions. For every right direction to take, there is at least one wrong direction, and possible many more. (Steinberg, 1996) They probably have made bad choices throughout their lives, and have seen their friends made bad decisions. They want the best for their children and feel that they are responsible for making sure their children don't make the mistakes that they did.

Parents are often overprotective because that have trouble communicating with their children. As children become more distant from their parents, parents fear that they can't talk to their children anymore or that their stories are out of touch with their children's lives. So they take on an overprotective role at the expense of developing a trusting relationship with their child.