exercise in formal but informal writing

Creating a Professional Profile: How to Optimize Social Media Presence

Subject Line: How to Professionalize Your Profile

Hi Anita

I was thrilled to find out you are interested in working with us here at Brave New World. We are a young but growing tech startup, as you know, and you will fit in really well with our company. I know you have your eye on the amazing break room, with the virtual reality headsets and that adorable house cat that walks around and helps keep everyone in good spirits even during the busiest times of the year. We also have the best Christmas party ever—it’s bottomless so a great opportunity to upgrade the underwear. Because we have a solid organizational culture and a positive work environment, I know that you will be happy here. I know I am! I put in a good word with the boss, letting her know about all you have achieved at your former company. In fact, I believe they are planning to call you soon. I want you to know that I am here for you and will do anything I can to help you get the job.

At the risk of offering unsolicited advice, I wanted to tell you something as your best friend. I wanted to mention that our human resources manager does do diligent background checks on all employees. I don’t mean they need your fingerprints from the FBI. What I mean is: they will Google search you and check all your social media pages. They did it to me when I got hired and they actually told me that they did not tolerate any pro-Trump-related content. I know it sounds harsh, but our company policy has been revised to accord with our firm’s policy on corporate social responsibility. We recently started working with a new client, our most lucrative account to date. The client inspired us to take strong action to this effect. We do it to retain our positive work environment, as we do not want to hire anyone who posts unsavory content, content that could be offensive, or content that suggests any racist or sexist attitudes. It’s fine if you want to keep pictures of last night’s dinner, especially as I know you have great taste in food! Oh, and you look superb in that photo from Cannes, but the nudity might also be something that human resources might find unprofessional. If you do not wish to change any content on your Facebook page, that is totally understandable, just set your privacy preferences so that no one who is not your friend can see your photos. Just to be on the safe side, though, I would take down the nipple photo. Besides, I’m looking out for you and do not want any of the creeps out there getting the wrong idea about you.