Sex in the City: Reflecting Common Assumptions

Sex in the City: Reflecting Common Assumptions About Women, But Not Women's Real Lives

The popular HBO comedy series Sex in the City portrayed the fortunes of four upscale Manhattan women looking for love. The feminist or liberated nature of the show was much-debated, throughout its duration. On one hand, the close relationship of the protagonists -- Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte -- was the one constant amongst the sea of changes in all of the characters' lives. These changes encompassed marriages, births, cancer, and other life-altering events. However, on the other hand, the characters' relationships with men formed the primary focus of the series. Their sexual and romantic troubles drove the series' plots and were more important dramatically than the characters' work lives or even their hobbies. The cultural myth that women, no matter how successful, are obsessed with finding the right man, and are only fully 'female' when they have a relationship with a man impacts how all women in the media are portrayed. Furthermore, because elected policy-makers are chosen by the public, based upon the media perception generated of the candidate, television programs like Sex in the City can have a deeper, subliminal cultural impact upon politics and culture than might initially be suspected.

A powerful woman like Hillary Clinton, for example, is often demonized as sexless or 'ball-busting' because of her refusal to comply with feminine norms of submissiveness. Time and time again in the series, the serious lawyer Miranda was given her 'comeuppance' because of her autonomy and her unfeminine sarcasm. When Miranda bought her apartment as a single woman, the episode chronicled how many times she had to record that she was 'single' on legal documents, which she found upsetting. People's surprise that a woman would want to buy her own accommodations alone irritated Miranda, but also made her question her decision. Miranda became fearful of dying alone, even of being found 'eaten by her cat,' according to one urban myth.

At the end of the television series, Miranda eventually enters the most traditional domestic relationship of all of the women. She has a child, is married to a blue-collar, working class bartender, and leaves Manhattan and her friends to care for her husband's elderly mother. This suggests that although women may claim to want to be independent, they are really only fulfilled by their child-bearing and caretaking functions. This impression affects how women who eschew feminine stereotypes in their self-presentation, like Miranda and Hillary Clinton, are taken seriously in the public eye. On one hand, these women are very powerful. On the other hand, it is suggested that a man needs to humble them, for them to be truly accepted as human. Hillary Clinton was largely disliked because of her comments that she 'didn't stay home and bake cookies' and wasn't going to 'stand by her man.' When President Bill Clinton's affair with intern Monica Lewinsky was revealed the public became more sympathetic towards Hillary. The public, ironically, began to take her more seriously as a candidate, when she choked up with tears after the New Hampshire primary, during her own campaign for the Democratic nomination.

Despite the supposed benefits of female friendships, the need for women to be sexual beings is reinforced by the erotic, costume-like clothes most of the women wore in Sex in the City. Even when they were 'hanging out' together, they were dressed in high-fashion clothing, often with uncomfortably high heels and plunging necklines. For Samantha Jones, the publicist, her sexuality was shown to be the most notable part of her character. Unlike her friends, Samantha had little desire for a committed relationship, but she did enjoy and revel in her sexuality. However, Samantha's confidence and her overt sexuality was yet another embodiment of the principle that for a woman to be fully human, she must embody a feminine norm. Samantha derived her power from her eroticism as a character.

The polar opposite of Hillary Clinton in the hyper-sexualization of the feminine woman in politics can be seen in Sarah Palin's avowed embrace of high heels and short skirts. Although Palin calls herself a conservative, the trappings of her persona, from her lipstick, to her athleticism, suggest that she is using sex to sell her brand of politics. For a woman to be powerful, she cannot ignore the male gaze, suggests Sex in the City. No woman can ignore the sexual aspects of her persona: Charlotte is obsessed with marriage and motherhood, and even Carrie is miserable when the love of her life, Mr. Big, is not with her. Even though she is a writer, Carrie is willing to give this up for a man and move to Paris at one point, in her search for romantic fulfillment.

The cultural anxiety of what will happen if women become economically self-sufficient and powerful is manifest throughout the series, and softened by the women's emotional neediness. Yet the real world would seem to be more open to change than the writers of Sex in the City. As a result of the Great Recession, more men than women have lost their jobs, and in many households, women are the primary breadwinners. Some men have even assumed the role of caretaker of the children, simply because they cannot find work. Blue-collar men without a college diploma (like Miranda's Steve) are some of the people who are hardest-hit by the recession. If was once feared that if women do not 'need' men -- even as fathers (Miranda tries to be a single mother, alone) dire role-reversing consequences would ensue. But economic necessity has forced many families to accept the fact that the person who has a job, male or female, must continue to earn an income. Parental leave, rather than maternal leave, is more common. Despite the highly judgmental tone of the media, women have assumed more prominent roles than ever in politics and the law, spanning from Clinton's assumption of the role of Secretary of State to two Supreme Court justices being appointed in rapid succession.

Subconscious cultural fears remain about female, autonomy and competence. Occasionally, there are rumblings about how the culture does not treat boys fairly within the school system, because most teachers are female or the fact that a larger percentage of undergraduates are female at most colleges. The demand that the nation is 'losing a generation' of boys seems specious in light of the fact that these superior female enrollment numbers are at institutions where, many years ago, women would have been barred from entry. A lack of female representation in a profession is seen as proof of female incompetence; too many women are portrayed as a dangerous sign that males are losing power.