Cultural differences between Iranian-American and Iranian family life

¶ … Interview

For this project, I connected with an old fmily friend who was visiting home from college. Her name is Nilly and we met at Starbucks. She's an Iranian-American, and we've known each for several years.

I opened the interview with several basic ethnographic questions. She is 21 years old. She was born in Tehran and her family moved to the US when she was two years old, fleeing the Ayatollah's regime. She speaks Farsi and English. She currently lives in Boston, where she goes to school.

How many members of your family were born in another country?

Most of them were born in Iran, actually. Only my two younger brothers were born in the United States.

Have you ever visited Iran?

NA: I have not. Our family was persecuted by the regime, so my parents are afraid of what might happen to them if they return. We talk a lot to our family that still lives there, and while I think we all want to meet sometime, we would rather meet in Europe than go back to Iran, not until the regime is changed. Personally, I wanted to visit when my school is finished, but currently it is not possible for Americans to go to Iran.

SV: How do they spend their free time there?

NA: People in Iran don't go to nightclubs the same way that we do here. A lot of public places are only for men, so the women usually socialize in private homes. You get together with your friends and your family, you eat, and in a private home you can wear whatever you want so it's a more natural setting, everybody is more at ease because the same social rules that apply in public don't apply in private. So of course people go to the park and things like that, but social activity is more focused around the home.

We then talked about a typical day, which she describes are very normal, like any other American college student, living with roommates, studying, and having fun with friends. I also asked about home life here.

NA: It's a lot like back in Iran I think. The women do all the work in the home. Cooking, cleaning, looking after the children, this is all the work that the women do. Persian men aren't going to change that easily.

SV: Can you give me an example of a typical meal in your household?

NA: You mean like taco night? At home when my mother is cooking we do a lot of traditional Persian dishes, lots of meat and rice, and everything piled in the middle of the table. It's a family-style of eating. On my own, it's a lot more American, because I grew up with that, too, so now I'm actually really excited to go home and eat Persian food because I never make it myself.

SV: Do members of your family practice a particular religion?

NA: We are all Muslims. The younger generation doesn't pray as much as the older generation does. We are too American now.

SV: For this section I'm going to ask you questions about your culture, meaning, beliefs, traditions and ways of life that are familiar to you.

SV: Can you describe the types of traditional music in your culture?

NA: We have some forms of music. The instruments are quite different from Western instruments, like different flutes and drums and string instruments, but we also have pop music. It's just, different. The sound is different., and you have to be more subtle about certain things. You can't just openly sing about sex, so you say it in other ways. But back in Iran it is different. The authorities approve what music you can listen to, and what singers are allowed to perform. So it is quite restricted, and some music you can only here if you are at someone's home and there are musicians playing.

SV: Are there dances that are done with different types of music, and who participates in these dances?

NA: Oh, dance is very traditional in Persian culture. You have tribal dancing, and these formal dances, and religious dancing, like the Sufis do. A lot of times it will be a group of men, linking arms or dancing in groups. A common type is raghs, which is something you do when you get together, and can be done in couples a lot.

SV: Do the movements tell a story?

NA: In a way, yes, because each person makes their own movements. So you are telling your story, in a sense.

SV: I was going to ask about traditional clothing, but you answered that already. So I'll move on. Do you have children, or would you like to someday?

NA: Yes, definitely. Not for a while yet, but yes I do want to have children at some point in the future.

SV: What would you like for your children to achieve? Where would you like them to live?

NA: I would want only the best for them, and to live in a place that is free. That's very important to me. I want them the freedom to achieve their dreams, to live the best lives possible but never forget their culture or where they came from.

SV: Do you prefer that they have a certain career?

NA: That's too far in the future. I would want my children to be happy, and do something that they love, and be successful at it.

SV: Thank you, that is all the questions I have for this interview.