Culture of the Barons Mrs.

Culture of the Barons

Mrs. Baron -- Sharon, she tells me with a wry laugh, noting the rhyme for what must be the millionth time in her life -- is "older than thirty seven and younger than fifty -- much younger!" Though she was born in this country, as were her parents, her culture is markedly different from what one expects to find in the typical American home. She explains that in many ways, she and her family are pretty much like everyone else -- her children go to school, come home to do homework and often complain about it and go out to see their friends or have them over on the weekends. Her role as a mother is very traditional; she takes care of the home, the children, and the cooking while her husband works outside the home as a pediatrician. Some differences are immediately observable, however -- the number of children in the pictures on the wall (Sharon has seven altogether), the style of clothing that she is wearing, and many of the other elements in the home all point to the fact that the Baron family is all part of the Orthodox Jewish tradition.

The family roles in an Orthodox Jewish family are pretty much what one would expect, Sharon explains. Though even just a century go girls were not expected to attend school the way boys were, study and learning was important for all children, and this was their primary duty along with household chores to allow for the smooth running of the family. Her job as the mother, as noted, was to make sure the household ran smoothly. She was quick to point out that it was perfectly acceptable for women in the Jewish religion to have a professional occupation as well, and in fact she holds advanced degrees in psychology, but that family is very important to people of her culture and that this necessitated women staying home.

"I think if Yaakov [her husband] could have taken off the months of pregnancy from his practice like I did from my work [as a research assistant], he would have. Maybe he would have breast fed them, too. But that's not the way God designed things. When it came time for someone to stay home full time to care of the children, I was the obvious choice, so here I am and there he goes." She explains that the family works as a partnership, primarily between she and her husband for the benefit of their children, but also with their children helping to ease the parents' burden. Roles are somewhat defined by age and gender, but she points out that no one is forced into behaving in a certain way. Being in a family, in this culture, means having certain obligations that one can choose to meet or not. Not meeting them is not only a sin according to the tenets of the religion, but it also causes damage to the spouse with whom a partnership was made and the children that are a result of that partnership.

More precisely, failing to live up to familial obligations is a sin because it causes damage to the spouse and children. Jewish daily life, as Mrs. Baron explains, is built around a constant devotion to God. Cooking, eating, sleeping, waking, bathing, and almost every other common task of everyday life is associated with some ritualistic elements and/or prayer to remind each person that every bit of good done is in service to God. Making sure your family is cared for in the best manner possible is part of this, and this explains the different roles that exist in her family. She acknowledges that the roles have changed somewhat since her grandparents first came to this country nearly a century ago, but maintains that the basic spirit behind these roles remains rooted in the same religion and traditions.

As far as changes in her own children as far as their understanding and performance of their roles in the family, Mrs. Baron doesn't really see or expect much. "They've been raised with our values, and although many of their friends aren't Jewish they've never had a real problem being different. They are happy with is life, and they see that their father and I are happy, and hopefully they will lead the same kind of life and it will make them even happier." She encourages all of her children to study so that they can have a good profession, and she even plans on returning to work at least part time once her youngest children are old enough to go to school. "We can do anything anyone else can, we just do things a little differently out there and a lot differently in our home. I don't really see a need to change when things are working so well, and I don't think they do, either."