Generational Boundary Dissolution Among Adoptive

Generational Boundary Dissolution Among Adoptive Families

Contribution of This Research

Attachment, Relationships, and Adoption

Characteristics of Weak Family Boundaries

The Generational Gap

Learning to Set Boundaries

Role of the Therapist

Generational boundary dissolution among adoptive families

Generational boundary dissolution presents as a crisis in many families. Generational boundaries are important for the development of the individual, within the framework of the family system. The area of generational boundaries is a relatively new concept in the field of family therapy. At this point, many of the techniques used are based on theory, rather than empirically tested ideals. Research into this area is young, presenting many avenues for exploration and research.

Much of the research into generational boundaries is based on the two-parent family model (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002). This research will utilize theory and methods developed to date, only it will apply it to a unique situation within the family structure. This research will utilize interactional analysis to examine generational boundary dissolution among families of adoptive children. The premise is based on the theory that parental boundaries are established early in life (Barber, 2001). By adolescence, these patterns are destined to have a dramatic impact on the development of adolescents.

Children, who are adopted early in life, are more likely to resemble the generational boundary patterns of their adoptive parents. However, for children who are raised in one household and then adopted in their early adolescent years, the early generational boundaries established in their first family will have a dramatic impact on the function of their adoptive families. This research will use interactional pattern analysis to explore the generational boundary patterns in adoptive families that are symptomatic for generational boundary dissolution.

The Research Problem

Background of the Problem

Human society exists due to the existence of boundaries. Human beings have many different sets and levels of boundaries that help define where we view our place in the world. We have physical boundaries, which constitutes the immediate area around our bodies (Savage, 2002). We have intellectual boundaries where we demand respect for out own ideas and thoughts. Emotional boundaries involve respect for our feelings (Savage, 2002). Social boundaries are set for out limits to social contact. This boundary is crossed whenever someone criticizes another for their likes and dislikes. We also have sexual boundaries and money boundaries. We also have time boundaries, which involves respect for how someone chooses to get things done (Savage, 2002).

These boundaries are personal and everyone must set their own boundaries. Some of these are conscious boundaries and others are unconscious boundaries. When boundaries in any of these areas are crossed, conflict can result. When someone crosses a boundary, it makes us feel violated or angry. When someone crosses a boundary, it can be seen as a personal affront (Savage, 2002). Recognizing and respecting boundaries is a key to eliminating and avoiding conflict and challenges. Understanding personal boundaries is the key to understanding conflict and conflict resolution. Boundaries serve three primary purposes, to keep people from coming into our space, to keep us out of other people's spaces, and to give us a sense of completeness (Savage, 2002).

Within a family, members set boundaries. Where boundaries are nonexistent or weak, family members often intrude on each other's space (Savage, 2002). Outward signs of this are speaking for each other, feeling and thinking for each other (Savage, 2002). Often family members in a situation with weak boundaries will have trouble separating their own feelings from those of other family members. Research has demonstrated that family members from this type of family may have a poorly defined sense of self (Savage, 2002).

In families with weak boundaries, others in the family enter bedrooms and bathrooms without knocking (Savage, 2002). They may borrow something without asking, or they may share personal information without asking permission from that person (Savage, 2002). These intrusions are often the cause of family conflict and difficulty relating to one another. Often the person who does the intruding will not recognize that they have crossed a boundary, but the other person may see it differently. Often it does not occur to the person who is doing the intruding to ask permission from the other person. Permission is assumed in this case. The person doing the intruding acts as if they know what the other person would want and acts as if they are the authority on the other person.

Boundaries are defined by family culture and norms. There are two ends of the spectrum. On one end, the family has strictly defined boundaries. Everyone knows where everyone else stands and there are set consequences for stepping out of line. In other families, it is difficult to distinguish if boundaries even exist. It appears to be a free-for-all with everyone stepping on each other's toes, and everyone else expecting it. Many families fall somewhere in between these two ends of the spectrum. These expectations are a part of family culture.

Rationale

Families that exhibit weak generational boundaries are often plagued by a variety of problems. They are conflict ridden, often caused when one person in the family steps across a boundary drawn by another. The children will be unwilling to express internal emotions, often burying them to maintain the peace. In a family with weak generational boundaries, individual development is stifled.

Family therapy recognizes the importance of establishing and maintaining appropriate boundaries between family members. Families with clearly established boundaries help to promote the development of well-adjusted family members. One of the key goals of family therapy is to help families establish and learn to maintain proper boundaries within the family system. This research will use this rationale as the key concept behind the proposed research.

An examination of current theory and practice in the area of generational boundaries and generational boundary dissolution reveals that many of the techniques and diagnostic tools are based on theory, rather than observation. One of the most pressing issues in this area of research is the ability to tie theory to clinical application. From a clinical perspective, the assessment of family structure can be assessed through interaction patterns that occur between various family members (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002). Previous research in this area indicates that problems in families are a result of the breakdown of the power hierarchy that places the parent at the top (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002). This forces the child to assume the spousal or parental role and generational boundaries are violated. Power struggles may result as the displaced parent or parents struggle to regain control.

It should be clear that generational boundaries play a key role in the development of an independent and autonomous individual. The dissolution of generational boundaries disrupts the normal parent-child relationship and redefines it in such a manner as to create a power struggle within the unit. Adopting a pre-teen to teen-age child requires major adjustments on both the new family and the child. The child will bring "baggage" with them from their formative years. Sometimes this baggage may include dissolution of family boundaries due to a parent who cannot define themselves as such. In this case, the adopted child may display the tendency towards a more mature family relationship, such as that of a parent or mate. They may have had to play a parental role towards younger siblings. These early experiences will help to define the manner in which they view relationships with their new adoptive parents. Children who have grown up in a parent or mate role may be resistive when placed in a family with clearly defined parent and child roles. This research will explore the parent-child roles in families who have adopted pre-teen or adolescent children.

Hypothesis

Much of the information that could be found regarding generational boundaries is theoretical. Therefore, this research will be based on a theoretically-based premise regarding generational boundaries. The research will use interactional analysis to explore the following hypothesis:

H1: Children who have been adopted after the age of 10 will display parent-like or mate- like generational boundaries more frequently than children who have been in the same family since birth.

The null hypothesis will state that, "Children who have been adopted after the age of 10 will not display parent-like or mate-like generational boundaries statistically more frequently than children who have been in the same family since birth. The hypothesis will be examined using a comparison of the results of interactional analysis between these two groups.

Research Questions

As the field of research into generational boundaries is relatively new, many questions could be answered through research. Many areas need to be addressed. The problem of adoption in the teen years presents many adjustment problems for the families and the teen. This research will attempt to explore the root of problems related to switching generational boundary styles by using adopted pre-teens and teens. A comparison of these two chosen groups will allow us to explore issues related to generational boundaries beyond the central hypothesis. The research will address the following research questions, in addition to the central hypothesis.

How malleable are generational boundaries? In other words, how willing are teens to adapt to new generational boundary styles?

Are generational boundaries set during the early childhood years?

How frequently do teens assume a parental role in dysfunctional families?

What techniques could help tends and their adoptive parents reach a compromise that results in the development of healthy generational boundaries within the new family unit?

These research questions, in addition to the research hypothesis will help to contribute to the existing body of knowledge in the field of family therapy.

Contribution of This Research

This research will play an important role in the field of family therapy. It will be specifically targeted towards helping develop new techniques and methods for helping adoptive families and their teens establish healthy generational boundaries within the new family. This is a specialized field within the larger context of family therapy, but it will also help to increase our understanding of how generational boundaries react to change within non-adoptive families as well. It is expected that dissolution of generational boundaries in the adoptive child's first family will result in their learned style of parental relationships being carried over into their new families. It will contribute to the general body of knowledge in the field of family therapy, specifically in the area of generational boundary dissolution.

Literature Summary

Literature into generational boundaries and the impact of dissolution of these boundaries is characterized by a wave of research in the early to mid 1990s. However, more recent sources are lacking. There have been a few book published that explore the topic in-depth, but there is a lack of academic work on the subject. This research will be based on the most recent publications available on the topic. It will draw from the major works in the area in an attempt to glean as much information from academia as possible. However, it may be noted that certain gaps in the research will become obvious. These gaps provide the fuel for future research efforts into the field.

Attachment, Relationships and Adoption

It has been suggested that adoption has a psychology that is all its own. One of the first studies on the psychology of adoption was by Schecter (1960). He noted that adoptees were 100 times more likely to present emotional problems than non-adoptees. His research suggested that rejection of the birth parents was a major contributing factor. Another landmark work in the psychology of adoption was conducted in 1954 and involved the question of whether it is best to inform children of their adoption. This work addresses many issues between the adoptive parents and children (Kirk, 1953).

A study concluded by Jaffee and Fanshel (1970) found that when and how the parents reveal the adoption story is crucial to the child's adjustment. In the proposed research study, the children are old enough to be active participants in their adoption. The Jaffee and Fanshel study, it was found that minimal information about the adoptive status helped to stimulate the new parent-child relationship. The children in the current research study will not have this advantage. Therefore, they can be expected to exhibit a more restrictive parent-child bond.

Perhaps one of the most important studies concerning adoption in relation to the proposed research suggested that children who felt different from their adoptive parents experienced lower self-esteem than those who felt close to them (Beckett, Castle, & Groothues et al., 2008). The ease with which children could talk to their adoptive parents played a major contributing role in their self-esteem (Beckett, Castle, & Groothues et al., 2008). The ability to resolve past trauma and losses playa role in the child's ability to form attachments in the new family (Walker, 2008). Children who were frightened of their parents developed unresolved fears as adults (Hesse & Main, 2006). The adolescent years highlight the themes of identity, belonging and attachment (Fitzhardinge, 2008).

In infants adopted internationally, attachment scores were not found to differentiate from those of non-adopted infants with their mothers (von Londen, Juffer, & can Ijzendoorn, 2007).

Foster caregivers attributed nine major causal categories to emotional problems in the child for whom they cared. Early experienced of adversity and neglect were the primary attributions for emotional problems (Taylor, Swann, & Warren, 2008; Feeney, Passmore, & Peterson, 2007)). Foster children can develop significant attachments to their foster caregivers (Odell, 2008).

It has been established that in children who were adopted earlier in life, their attachment and trauma associated with their initial caregiver had a dramatic impact on their ability to adjust and form attachments with their adoptive parents (Howe, 2001; Miller, 2005; Weitzman & Albers, 2005). These delays may have a biological basis (Kertes, Gunnar, Madsen & Long. 2008). Verissomo & Salvaterra, (2006) found that mutual exchange was a key to developing attachments in adoptive parents and children. Children placed after infancy are more prone to attachment disturbances, developmental delays, and post traumatic stress disorder (Nickman, Rosenfeld, & Fine, et al., 2005). Another study assessed cognitive development at age four and found that institutional care during infancy resulted in an insecure attachment type (Vorria, Papailiquora, & Sarafidou et al., 2006). Another study found that girls tended to form higher quality relationships than boys (Stams, Juffer, & van-Ijzenfoorn, 2002).

Characteristics of Weak Family Boundaries

Sometimes boundaries are open only in one direction and closed in the other. For instance, a mother may try to live vicariously through their child, assuming that they know all of their likes and dislikes based on their own personal preferences (Savage, 2002). The child may or may not have these same preferences, but they never get to voice their opinions. In a sense, the child is stifled as an individual and is viewed as if they are an extra appendage of the adult.

In a family where the parents invade the boundaries of the children, the child can develop feelings of being powerless. They can become frustrated, as their own needs and emotions are pushed to the back, while others seemingly have all of the control. Children in these types of families get the sense that it is not OK to be themselves with their own ideas. Whenever, they have an opinion, it will be criticized if it does not match that of the parent and they may be belittled for their opinions (Savage, 2002). Children in these types of families may grow up to become what they perceive is expected of them, no what they truly wish to become Family expectations are more important than individual wants and needs in this type of family.

In a boundariless family where the children's boundaries are suppressed, the child may grow up feeling as if anything they do is not good enough (Savage, 2002). These families are close, almost too close and the individual gets stifled. Often the parents will tell an entirely different story of the child's developmental years, or replace part of their child's story with their own (Savage, 2002). They child has no right to "own" their childhood stories and viewpoint of what happened. The child often feels as if they need to fulfill some need in their parent's life, but they may not necessarily know what or how to do it (Savage, 2002).

Sometimes, in order to fill the expectations of a parent who stifles their boundaries, the child will develop a "mask" that they wear on the outside. They hide their own true feelings and only show that family what is expected of them. Sometimes the mask is so convincing that they eventually have trouble finding out what they are really like. They become the mask and forget what they are truly like on the inside (Savage, 2002). They must learn to re-discover their own wants and needs.

Children who do not learn to assert their own boundaries as a child often have difficulty in relationships outside of the home (Savage, 2002). For instance, they may take their loose idea of boundaries to work, treating co-workers or employees as if they are friends. When this happens, rules and regulations may go unheeded and the manager can lose control of the office. They do not know where to draw the line in professional relationships. Berszontsky (2004) found that children in families that experienced boundary dissolution were likely to exhibit difficulty developing and defining their own identity.

Abuse is the ultimate form of boundary crossing in families. Psychological, physical, or sexual abuse occurs when there is an overt intrusion of the child's space (Savage, 2002). An old stereotype exists which states that victims of abuse have a tendency to become abusers themselves. This may be because they do not have appropriate modeling and definition of boundaries. They were not shown where limits need to be drawn in relationships. Unless the abused child learns to establish appropriate boundaries, they may be likely to go down the same path that they were shown. The inability to establish appropriate boundaries extends into all areas of life. Learning to establish appropriate boundaries is a necessary social skill in a child's development.

Generational boundaries between mothers and their female adolescent have an impact on career choice, dating and friendship exploration. Those whose mothers encouraged independence from them, yet remained close were much more likely to be explorative in other relationships. However, those whose mothers dissolved boundaries and were characterized by role reversal, enmeshment, and over involvement were less likely to be explorative in other relationships (Fullinwider-Bush & Jacobvits, 2004).The same study revealed that father-daughter boundary dissolution resulted in lower exploration and lower commitment to values and beliefs (Fullinwider-Bush & Jacobvits, 2004).

The Generational Gap

Generational roles and rules define boundaries between family members (Savage, 2002).

Appropriate roles exist between the parents and the children. For example, the parents are expected to do the caretaking, rather than the children. Generational roles define who participates in which activities and what their role in participation should be (Savage, 2002). These rules and boundaries are often unspoken and misunderstandings can develop between family members who feel the other has crossed over into the other's boundaries (Savage, 2002). To make matters even more confusing, sometimes the unspoken rules differ from the spoken ones (Savage, 2002).

Situations where the child has to assume the role of an adult can lead to co-dependent behavior, where one person's sense of self is defined by the ability to gain approval from someone else (Savage, 2002). Boundary confusion is the root cause of co-dependency. The person does not know how to distinguish where they end and the other person begins (Savage, 2002). Co-dependence also occurs when one person assumes that they know the other person's situation and decides to make decisions for them. This intention can be misread in many ways.

Boundaries regulate attachment and distance in all relationships (Rothery & Enns, 2001). In families where boundaries are clear, the child and other individuals are free to pursue their own needs and ambitions. Parents are able to focus on what they need as well (Rothery & Enns, 2001). It represents a healthy family relationship where the individuals are able to grow on their own and the family grows as well. The generational boundary establishes a hierarchy within the family, but it is less about control than about leadership (Rothery & Enns, 2001).

Learning to Set Boundaries

Difficulty setting boundaries often stems from parental history. In some cases, parents may have difficulty achieving cohesiveness in their parenting style. Each parent brings their own style into the relationship. They must negotiate their differences in order to form a united front. Boundaries can be blurred when parents have different ideas about what their role should be (Rothery & Enns, 2001).

Unresolved trauma from the parent's life can translate into a blurred generational boundary (Rothery & Enns, 2001). For instance, a parent who was abused, may over react to their child by setting boundaries that are unreasonably restrictive for fear of the child's safety. Attachment relationships with parents differ for males and females (Samuolis, Layburn, $ Schiaffino, 2001). In college students, females had higher levels of social exploration than males, which also found to be closely related to their attachment relationships with their parents (Samuolis, Layburn, $ Schiaffino, 2001). However, in males, their identity development was not found to be related to attachment to either parent (Samuolis, Layburn, $ Schiaffino, 2001). This research suggests that generational boundaries may be more important for females than males.

Learning to say "yes" and "no" clearly is the key to setting clearly defined boundaries (Savage, 2002). However, in learning to "respect' our parents, many were not permitted to directly tell a parent "no." Children learned to skirt around issues to avoid the consequences of direct disobedience (Savage, 2002). When these children grown up, they have trouble saying, "no," even when it is necessary that they do so. They may view being told "no" as a rejection, rather than a clearly defined boundary (Savage, 2002). They have trouble distinguishing between boundaries and rejection. This can lead to confusion in many areas of their life.

Children who never learn to say "no" are often easy to get along with, because they are so agreeable (Savage, 2002). They agree, even when it places a strain on them to make a commitment. Often, this inability to say, "no" stems from a memory of feeling rejected when someone told them "no." They do not wish to make others feel that way, so they will not tell someone "no." They may over commit and then be unable to meet their obligations as a result of never learning to set important boundaries.

Role of the Therapist

The therapist must understand these different types of boundaries and what they mean in the family dynamics. It is important for the therapist to be able to gauge the boundaries of the family and remain outside enough to remain objective, but close enough to be able to understand their feelings (Savage, 2002).

Children cannot begin to establish and maintain proper generational boundaries until they learn to recognize appropriate boundaries. The Boundary Violations Scale is used to help assess the ability of adolescents to assess the degree of boundary violation in their family system (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002). This scale is based on the theory that boundary violations manifest themselves in a specific set of symptoms in the adolescent. Those children who have intergenerational boundary violations will express them through their level of maturity, the ability to form coalitions, and communication as peers (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002). This scale was validated through comparison with theoretically relevant measures of family processes and child adjustment, using self-reporting by mothers and their children (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002).

One of the dysfunctional family processes linked to schizophrenia is the parent or mate like role relations between a child and a parent (Walsh, 2005). This study found that in schizophrenics, parents failed to view generationally appropriate relationships (Walsh, 2005). Often the child was involved in a bond that more resembled that of a mate than a parent to child role (Walsh, 2005).

Research Design

Boundary violation that is a result of the collapse of the generational hierarchy between the parent and child and diagnosed through the manifestation of three primary interaction patterns. The first is where the child is "parentified," which means that the child takes on privileges and responsibilities that are not typically considered age appropriate (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002). The second is where the child is elevated to confidante or peer to the parent (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002).

The third is where the child is asked to form a coalition with one parent, while the other parent is excluded (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002).

The basic concepts regarding family structure were based on two-parent families (Madden-Derdich, Estrada, Ulloa, & Updegraff, et al., 2002). Much of the research design in existence is based on the two-parent family structure. During the adolescent years, children and the family structure undergo dramatic transformations. The child is preparing to transition from a child role to a parent role with their own future family. In families that have adopted pre-teen or teen-aged children, the old parenting style will have an impact on relationships within the new family structure. This research will explore the degree to which generational boundary dissolution in the first family of adopted pre-teens and teen-agers affects the formation of appropriate generational boundaries in their new family.

Sample Population

This study will compare two groups using interactional analysis as the means for comparison, it will examine generational boundary formation in children who were adopted after 10 years of age and in those who are still with their natural birth parents. The sample population will be recruited through family therapy service providers through solicitation of families who meet the study criteria. All of the families chosen will be actively participating in family therapy, either as a court-ordered requirement of adoption, or due to conflict resulting from generational boundary dissolution. Some of the non-adoptive group will be attending therapy due to court orders involving juvenile delinquency.