Observing a Family at Dinner What Their Body Language Says

Kinesics Observations

I observed a young family at a restaurant: the family consisted of a mother, a father, and three small children, ages 3, 2, and 1 respectively. The family was seated at a booth in a pizza parlor and used a number of different gestures throughout their meal and conversation.

The father used emblems with the children, giving the "thumbs up" sign several times -- so often in fact that it became aggravating to his wife, whose facial expressions signaled that she wanted him to stop making the thumbs up sign. Her agitation was an affect display represented by a frown -- and her frown led to his frown -- and their frowns caused the oldest of the young children to frown and to point his finger in a scolding manner: the child's frown and pointed finger was accompanied by the words, "Stop it now! You two stop!" which made the parents laugh. The child's pointed finger was an illustrator. The children pointed all throughout the meal to illustrate whenever they wanted something -- such as a straw, a fork, a napkin, or more food. They also pointed to draw attention to something across the room.

As the wife talked, the husband nodded at least half a dozen times, which served as regulators to show that he was listening. He also leaned forward in his seat (another regulator) to convey the signal that he was interested in what she had to say. She made use of a smile to show appreciation for his attention (an affect display) and the smile stayed on her face until the children disrupted her narrative by spilling water on the table -- which caused both parents to leap for napkins.

The father winked at his children two or three times to get them to smile while they were eating. This was a playful emblem on his part used to signify that all was well in spite of the earlier spill. The children responded by smiling or laughing and placing their hands on their heads out of excitement or enthusiasm for his attention.

The wife used a number of adaptors while she was talking, which she did not seem to be aware of -- such as twirling her scarf with her hands or fidgeting with her napkin. The husband had a number of adaptors as well -- he tapped his foot as well as his fingers while regulating the conversation with his nodding. He tapped his foot fairly constantly through most of the meal, either as he was listening to his wife or watching the game on the television across the room. When he was watching the game, he would lean forward just as he did with his wife when she was talking to him, as though he was regulating a conversation between himself and the television. When the children started losing interest in their food, the mother would get their attention back by tapping on the table with her finger (an illustrator) and pointing at their food while saying, "Please, finish," which would prompt the children to take another bite.