Generational Differences in Family Formation

Generational Differences in Family Formation and Behavior

Family formation and attitudes toward it have, over generations, evolved to include historical, technological, cultural or structural changes that have occurred in these years. It is inevitable, then, that generational differences in terms of viewing the concept of "family" have emerged and continue to emerge as each generation experiences a 'universal' change that would compel cultures and societies to adapt and change their attitudes, behavior, and social structures linked with the most basic social unit -- the family. In the sections that follow, discussions regarding these generational differences in family formation and behavior are presented, arguing that generations are different from each other in terms of the prevalent nature and dynamics of families. Further, these generational differences are rooted from historical, technological, cultural or structural forces that occurred and have influenced families in a particular time period or generation.

II. Demographic Profile

To provide context to the discussion of family formation, I shall provide a brief background about my family, who are natives of China. My family has just immigrated to the United States from China, and I am a member of a very traditional Chinese family. In China, my family belongs to the upper middle class group, which means that compared to other families, ours have been fortunate enough to experience a comfortable life, undergo formal education and achieve degrees, and establish life stability through our professional careers or through businesses (self-employment).

Immigrating to the U.S. required a significant amount of adjustment for my parents, relatives, and even myself. Used to living a relatively affluent life in China, we become "common" and barely belonging to the middle class segment in the society. In the U.S., we learned to deal with the fact that our family will no longer enjoy specific privileges previously given to our family. However, this is just the major adjustment we had to deal with in the U.S. For the most part, my family is happy and satisfied with our new life here, as we can see a society and government that works well, if not perfectly, to benefit the majority through an efficient social service system. Personally, living in the U.S. has been a privilege in itself, as I have learned to value the "freedom" that it has given me. Living in a 'free' country allowed me to make my own choices freely, and to some extent, allow my very traditional Chinese family to exercise flexibility when it comes to dealing with value-laden yet mundane decisions in everyday life. In effect, my family is an ordinary, traditional Chinese family working its way to achieving the success in a foreign land, in their own right.

I will specifically talk about my family and its history through interviews with my parents and grandparents. As mentioned earlier, this paper will show that there are generational differences in family formation and behavior as a result of specific forces influencing the family unit in specific cultures and societies (these forces may be historical, technological, cultural, or structural).

III. Transition to Adulthood and Marital Behavior (Expectations and Attitudes)

Traditionally, the transition from childhood to adulthood is pretty much fast after the first ten to twelve years of a child's life. In China, as my grandfather recalled, the life of a child towards adulthood and marriage is already decided once s/he is born. Arranged marriage is a common practice in the country, and parents almost always engage in these "social transactions" to strengthen the bond between the two families, whether this bond is social, business, or as in most cases, both. Once a child is born, s/he is already paired with a partner, a baby like him/her or yet to be born (Engel, 1984:957).

The next 10-12 years of a child's life will be spent on preparation for the family life ahead of him/her. Male children are taught to know the essentials of running a business or learning a specific expertise as a way for him to earn a living for his money when he marries his future wife. Female children, meanwhile, are taught domestic / household chores as preparation for her role as housewife. Roles and responsibilities are clearly defined, and this has been the practice for the earlier generations, specifically during my grandfather and father's time.

This transition to adulthood, the trainings I underwent and values inculcated in me are the same as my father's and grandfather's experiences; however, the significant change in this tradition is the idea of preparing one's self for a partner 'pre-selected' by the parents. In my case, I have always been taught how to handle our family business, which is a restaurant business, but I was not raised and made aware that I have to be entrepreneurial and skilled for my future wife. I have a friend who has been 'identified' as my future wife, but no deliberate efforts by my family were made to "push" us to be together as we grow up. Although I know that I am expected to marry a Chinese woman, I know that my parents do not expect me to choose the same woman they chose for me when I was still young. The pressure to marry someone from my ethnic background has somewhat relaxed when we immigrated to the U.S.

More than my family's expectations of keeping the tradition of marrying a Chinese woman, it was specifically ingrained in my mind, values and beliefs the importance of giving back to my family when I reach adulthood and have been successful with my professional endeavors. Lin and Liu (1999) identified this value of 'giving back' to one's family as "hsiao," which "involves a series of obligations of a child to parent…provide aid, comfort, affection, and contact with the parent (economic and emotional support)…" (236). Throughout the years, my family has respected this value system in our culture, and my father exemplified this by ensuring that my grandparents and most of our relatives from China will also benefit from the relatively comfortable life we live here in the U.S. If my father is not helping out relatives obtain U.S. immigration visas, he is extending financial help to relatives who are in need of money or basic commodities/essentials, such as food and clothing.

Hsiao is also one system that I am most respectful of in my culture; however, I only extend this courtesy to my immediate family and relatives. I think this value system must be considered with practicality: I will only provide for other people's needs if and only if I am able to provide sufficiently for myself and my family. Otherwise, I would have to hold back and limit myself to extending my generosity and help to the people who matter the most to me: my family.

IV. Family Formation and Behavior

My family's heritage has also consistently remained true to the principles of benevolence ("jen") and loyalty ("yi") to one's family (Chan and Lee, 1995:86). We have always believed that we have maintained our comfortable lives through the years through the discipline and traditional values instilled in children and ingrained in our minds as we grow older. Further, respect and loyalty for family members and the family, respectively, help maintain the order and harmony essential to creating a solid foundation and strong cohesion of family bonds through the years.

Being an immigrant in the U.S., I realized that I now have a different definition and conception of what a family is. For me, my friends who have helped me adjust and smoothly undergo the difficult transition of acculturating myself to American culture made me realize that I have also created an "extended" family of friends who I know can be relied on. Like my "real" family, my extended family has been my moral and social support in the years that I experienced insecurity, embarrassment, and confusion at the new social environment I was suddenly plunged into. It is thus with difference that new generation of Chinese children like me recognize that "jen" and "yi" can also be applied to friends and 'extended' families. Surprisingly and gratefully, my parents have learned to recognize my friends as my extended family, and have also extended to my friends the same graciousness and generosity they have shown to our fellow family members and relatives.

V. Life Course Approach

Most salient in the generational differences between my generation and my father's and grandfather's is our planned approach to life. Over the years, new social structures and technologies have emerged, which ultimately determined the radical changes societies and cultures underwent up to the present time. In my family's case, life at 17, 20, 30 and 50 years old is radically different from what I envision my life would be at these life stages.