Professional Development and Family

Constructing a genogram helps to visualize relationships, view the hierarchies of the generations, and also see where potential problems may arise. The genogram presents in simple visual format the most fundamental aspects of individuals and their role in the family. We can see where people are now deceased, relationships that have ended in divorce, and also issues like illness and other factors that might impact their functioning in the family or how they are or were perceived. The genogram allowed me to see, for example, how emotional abuse might have impacted my grandparents' relationship with each other but also with my parents. Constructing my family's genogram was a fruitful exercise, and I intend to expand upon the genogram as I learn more about my family of origin.

Through methods like interviewing and reflecting on the stories that I heard from my grandparents when I was young, I have gleaned much about the values that have been passed down from generation to generation. I would like to learn more about my grandparents, particularly their line of work and how their attitudes towards work affected their personal lives. By learning more about the emotional abuse that existed between my grandparents, I might be able to detect similar patterns in communication styles in my parents, which could have influenced me personally. As I endeavor to provide counseling for other families, it is critical that I glean an honest understanding of my own.

While constructing the genogram, I became acutely aware of how little I actually do know -- how I know little about the extended families of my parents and grandparents. If there were close relationships that I do not know about, I will not be able to incorporate those lessons into my own personal and professional development. What I did learn was that kind and loving relationships are more the norm than the exception; we are a strong and closely knit family with no overarching issues of concern that would indicate endemic dysfunction. We have strong family commitments, feel a sense of loyalty to one another, and although not the largest family I know, large enough. Having twins in my family has always been a source of pride; when I was younger I was fascinated by twins and my brothers gave me an opportunity to learn more about their special connection through interviews with them.

When interviewing my partner, I enjoyed drafting the genogram because it not only gave me additional practice in using the symbols but also in recognizing the great variety in family shapes and styles. My partner comes from a different ethnic background than me, and this played itself out with a vastly different genogram, with more extended family networks and more complicated relationships between people. As with my family, there is some abuse, but abuse is not a pattern. We all have something to learn from our relatives, and the genogram makes clear what those things might be. Without drafting the genogram, we would be relying on verbal renditions of the relationships, and those renditions do not capture as succinctly the nature of the ties between generations and within generations.