Conflict Resolution First of All, the Mother

Conflict Resolution

First of all, the mother of this 8-year-old should have either advised the grandmother in advance to be wary of certain music albums or reviewed the album herself before the grandmother gave it to him. An 8-year-old boy is very impressionable, and naive, so the kinds of music, books, video games and other gifts that might be given to him should be very carefully monitored. It is not the band's fault that grandmother selected a musical album that was far too mature and raw for a very young boy.

Secondly, the mother's letter was not just a letter expressing legitimate concerns; it was an attack on the group. It was an outrageous attack on the band's music and on the band's values. When she wrote, "Why don't you do something positive and clean up your act!!!!" she should have expected a very negative reply. Calling the band's music "rubbish" and "trash" is totally absurd and simply lets the band know how out of touch the mother. She writes, "Isn't there enough garbage in the world?" she is just asking for a rude reply.

Granted, adult music can be raw, especially some of the hip-hop songs that are misogynistic and boldly raw in sexual content. But that is a choice that consumers make when they decide which kinds of music is worth the money they must plunk down to obtain it. It's an old cliche, but the truth is, if you don't like it, don't listen to it, and if you don't approve of it, don't buy it. The problem here is not Green Day; the problem is a mother who is angry because her son was given the wrong gift by his naive grandmother, but instead of raging at the band that created the music she could have shared a more reasoned response, which may not have been received well either, but what she has done was absurd.

Thirdly, freedom of speech is deeply engrained in the U.S. Constitution and musicians can take that as far as they want -- as long as they are not blatantly advocating violence against some individual or some group. So there is legal protection for raw or obscenity-laced lyrics.

How could this conflict be handled? There is no obvious conflict resolution strategy for something like this. Win-win is not a concept that really applies here. No one is going to win this argument. That said, the business resource called "CEO Online" suggests that "…attempting to prove you are right and they are wrong is only going to fuel the conflict" (Murphy, 2012). Also, Murphy points out that "…attempting to convince them to change may not work (as they think they are right)…"

The Dale Carnegie way ("Twelve Steps to Win-Win Conflict Resolution") doesn't really apply in the main because this is not going to be a back-and-forth negotiation between two people. That said, Neil Jensen writes that "Using the right approaches… [begins with] clearly understanding the issues and the personalities involved" (Jensen, 2011). That is good advice. If the mother understood the dynamics she would not have blasted the group Green Day but rather she would have diplomatically approached the store that sold the tape to the grandmother.

In 1996 there were no guidelines for the music industry's products; she might have written to the record (tape) company that produced the Green Day album and used diplomacy to bring to their attention that this music is not appropriate for young boys.