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Office pools are not condoned, and spectators should bring their own ice, as the bleachers are consistently hotter than Hell.
Football season is officially underway here in Hell, too. If you missed tryouts in the summer, additional positions have opened up due to injuries on the field. Apply with your local Hell guardian if you're interested in playing Hell's most violent game.
BREAKING NEWS!!!!
HELL OFFICIALLY FREEZES OVER!
Staff Writers
The Devil said it couldn't happen, but in a bizarre show of faith from above, Hell has indeed frozen over. Icicles hung from the caverns, and the Devil himself sported a coat of hoarfrost at least for a minute or two.
The sparkling sheets of ice seemed to suspend time, and residents were seen shivering and shaking all throughout Hell.
The Devil shrugged off the phenomenon, saying it was simply a "technical glitch" after installing new Microsoft software on Hell's main computer system.
Many residents, sure of their rescue from Purgatory, began packing their bags, but the deep freeze only lasted a few hours. The Devil re-booted the system and Hell returned to normal.
The Devil has noted as punishment, when Bill Gates attempts to enter those Pearly Gates, Saint Peter will certainly send him straight to Hell for his participation in Microsoft, the biggest monopoly on the planet.
MY DAY in HELL
The day began like any other, but by the end of the day, the poet Virgil led me on one of the most bizarre journeys I have ever experienced.
He led me through the...
I can tell you, Hell is not a place I should like to return to anytime soon.
When I entered Hell's gates, I noticed a sign above reading, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." I knew I was lost, and hoped only to make my way out of this eternal Hell that held so many in its' grasp.
I discovered nine circles of Hell that kept residents deep in their clutches. The things I saw there will stay with me forever.
I saw souls battered by continuous torrential rains and hurricane-force winds. I saw gluttons forced to lie in mud under a storm of hail. I saw those who continually pushed a great weight until it crashed into another, and then began the process again, in a never-ending circle. I saw things I do not want to repeat.
My message is clear. Do good in your life, die with a clear conscience, and avoid the horrors of Hell.
I have provided a drawing of my impressions of Hell at the right. (Dante).
Dante's Impression of Hell
Sources:
Alighieri, Dante. Dante's Inferno. Trans. Henry Francis Cary. New York: Cassell, Petter, Galpin, 1885.
Author not Available. "Bible: New King James Version." BibleGateway.com. 2006. 4 Oct. 2006. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=29&chapter=14&version=50&context=chapter
Editors. "Hell." Wikipedia.com. 3 Oct. 2006. 4 Oct. 2006. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell
Editors. "Lucifer." Catholic Encyclopedia. 2006. 4 Oct. 2006. http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09410a.htm
Sources:
Alighieri, Dante. Dante's Inferno. Trans. Henry Francis Cary. New York: Cassell, Petter, Galpin, 1885.
Author not Available. "Bible: New King James Version." BibleGateway.com. 2006. 4 Oct. 2006. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=29&chapter=14&version=50&context=chapter
Editors. "Hell." Wikipedia.com. 3 Oct. 2006. 4 Oct. 2006. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell
Editors. "Lucifer." Catholic Encyclopedia. 2006. 4 Oct. 2006. http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09410a.htm
Dangerous Game" by Richard Connell Rainsford as the Hunter and Hunted: Reversal of roles and conflict in "The Most Dangerous Game" by Richard Connell In Richard Connell's "The Most Dangerous Game," the theme of reversal of roles was apparent and illustrated through its main character, the skilled hunter Rainsford. In it, readers witnessed Rainsford's plight as the hunter who became the 'hunted' after a supposedly minor accident at the sea led
Lottery" and "The Most Dangerous Game" At first glance, the slow tension built up in Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" seems to mark the story as wholly distinct from the over-the-top adventure in Richard Connell's "The Most Dangerous Game," but closer examination reveals a number of points in which the two tales seem to engage in a shared discourse regarding the value of human life. "The Lottery" features an ostensibly civil
Thematic Development in "Young Goodman Brown" and "The Most Dangerous Game" While Nathaniel Hawthorne's "Young Goodman Brown" and Richard Connell's "The Most Dangerous Game" both feature the same basic theme of good vs. evil, the additional themes that the author utilize in telling their stories serves to differentiate them in a significant way, so that Hawthorne's story suggests that evil can corrupt even a successful protagonist while Connell suggests that his protagonist
Dangerous Game" by Richard Connell and "The Destructors" by Graham Greene share a similar structure, where each story is organized around the completion of a "game" with artificial rules, which ultimately demonstrates darker truths about human motivation. Intro Paragraph: *Structural similarity between Connell story and Greene story Connell story *Connell story, title, pun on "Game" *"Game" as animal that is hunted, "Game" as activity with artificial rules *Zaroff's game is antisocial / destructive *Zaroff's world --
Dangerous Game The basic story of "The Most Dangerous Game," both the short story and the 1932 film are about a big game hunter who finds himself at the mercy of an even more dedicated hunter than himself, the mad Cossack General Zaroff who chases and kills human beings for sport. In transferring the story from print to film, the screenwriters, producers, directors, and actors make certain changes to the story
He jumps up on the rail of the yacht with no one around, running completely on instinct (Connell, 1924). Taking time to reason this out would have told him that he could fall and, since he was the only person on deck at that time of night, that no one would be around to see that he had fallen and rescue him. His instinct also took over when he