Psycho's shower scene and audience desensitization to film violence

Hitchcook Peer Review

Proposition: The violence portrayed in the film Psycho contributed to the desensitization of the audiences to violence

Plan: Consider the shower scene in the film to point out the insertion of violence in genre films.

Support proposition using examples from other films.

Says: the intensity of the shower scene in Psycho contributed to the desensitization of the public to violence in films

Does: introduces the concept of violence in the film and the significance of the shower scene and its violence to the human stimulus.

Says: exposure to violence doesn't entail the desensitization of those exposed to violence

Does: Provides arguments to prove that such assumption is based on speculation and is not true

Paragraph

Says: Evidence for why Psycho contributed to the desensitization of the audiences to violence

Does: Justifies the proposition

Paragraph

Says: Psycho was in a changing era where violence in films was becoming more violent

Does: argues that Psycho was a catalyst for this era with examples from other films of this genre at that time.

Evaluative

Overall, the writing is rather good. The structure of the paper is well done and takes into account different perspectives of the subject. I think that the arguments you provided are relevant for the subject at hand and they are well used to serve the purpose of the thesis. However, I think that the line of argument would have been even stronger if some academic resources would have been used to point out for instance the scientific research conducted in relation to violence, stimuli, and desensitization of the audience to violence. Also, I liked the examples provided to compare the shower scene with other films, I thought that was a good means to point out the relevance of the scene for the films that were done afterwards and the impact it had on the film industry. I would suggest that in order to give more leverage to the arguments, to have references for the examples provided. They would provide more weight to the argumentation process. At this point, the essay appears to be more an opinion paper and the biased nature of the argumentation is visible. Although there is a counter-argument being discussed in the paper, it is not fully supported by irrefutable arguments and therefore cannot be seen as a clear cut proof that the film was indeed a breakthrough in the cinema business. As a whole, the paper is well structured and the opinion of the writer is clearly visible and supported with personal arguments.

Grammar

P2S2: I would rephrase it to have more emphasis on the subject rather than the targeted audience. The sentence appears a bit twisted in structure.

P3S4: The names of the films "300" and "Django Unchained" I would put in inverted commas. There are other examples of films whose names should be put in inverted commas.

P3S7: comma instead of;

P4S14 "meat hook" instead of "meathook."