Human Services -- Discussion Responses First Response:

Human Services -- Discussion Responses

First Response:

First, thank you for your service to the nation. I really like your perspective that the most genuine way to make a so-called "diverse" society work is to just stop referring to diversity and just regard everyone as being part of the same society with all of the same rights and obligations. As should be clear from my earlier post, I fully concur with your position on the fundamental importance of good parenting for many reasons, but especially in connection with psycho-social influences on the development of the individual. Your post seems to suggest that you also value the autonomy of your children and that you understand the importance of differentiating parental guidance from parental infringement. Given your experience having raised children in so many different cultural environments, I would be curious to know your thoughts on any differences in your children's individual development that you would attribute to their eternal environments and the differences in the places of their birth and upbringing.

Second Response:

I commend you for having broken the chain in the cycle of authoritarian parenting that existed in your family until you became a parent. I completely agree with your decision to allow your children the autonomy and the respect for their rights as individuals that your parents never allowed you. I would be curious to know whether you find that it is a constant struggle not to respond the way that your parents did or if those natural impulses disappear altogether after you make the conscious decision to become a different type of parent than they were.

Third Response:

I believe that your post provides a very good summary of the four major parenting styles that we're discussing. That said, you didn't indicate how you incorporate that information in your own parenting style, or how you intend to do that if you are not yet a parent. I know there can be a tremendous difference between our plans "on paper" and how those ideas are actually implemented once we have to practice them in the real world. I am curious to know whether you have decided to rely on one specific parenting style or to use various elements of the different approaches and how you would determine the optimal parenting style given what you know about them in the academic realm.

Fourth Response:

Your post was very candid and provides a highly personalized perspective that is valuable to this discussion. I concur with your conclusion that the development of the individual always represents a complex mix of genetic and environmental factors. I would suggest that it is even more complex than that because the line between biology and environment becomes even more blurry when you consider that the fetus is subjected to the hormonal influences and the other biological manifestations of the mother's psychological state throughout the later stages of gestation. My question to you would be whether you consider it a constant struggle to resist repeating the patterns to which you were subjected or if that challenge has become much easier with time and experience as a parent.

Fifth Response:

First, I would like to commend and congratulate you on having overcome your difficult circumstances as a child. Your success and your values are a testament to the proposition that we are not destined to the apparent limitations of our circumstances. My question to you would be whether you are ever frustrated or annoyed by the fact that your grandchildren might not realize how fortunate they are to enjoy some of the advantages that you never had and, if so, I would be curious to know how (or whether) you have communicated your thoughts about that to them in any way.

Sixth Response:

Your point about coercive parenting promoting similar behaviors in children is an important one and, as you say, there is certainly abundant evidence that parenting styles to promote similar behaviors among children, both generally as well as in their own eventual behavior as parents. I would be curious to know whether you have ever experienced or witnessed the phenomenon of "polarization" whereby children sometimes become the very opposite of their parents. For example, I know someone who was raised by very authoritarian and coercive parents and she is the exact opposite with her children, precisely because she never wants to repeat her parents' mistakes.

Seventh Response:

In general, I agree with your position that environmental factors are more important than genetic factors in determining the behavior of individuals. However, as I expressed earlier, I also think that we need to expand the realm of what we regard as "environment" to include much of the gestational period. That is because the developing fetus is always subjected to many of the hormonal and other psychobiological manifestations of the mother's experiences. Traditionally, we think of the newborn infant as a psychological blank slate; however, I would argue that the slate begins to be filled in long before birth and that some of the things that we might regard as being attributable to "nature" are, in fact, just different aspects of "nurture."

Eighth Response:

While I agree with your position that homosexuality is not necessarily caused by genetics, I believe that there is a broader range of options than just genetics and environment. There seem to be other factors that are aspects of biology, such as those related to differences in brain regions and neural architecture that are characteristically different between the brains of heterosexuals and homosexuals. That would seem to explain, without relying on assumptions about genetics, why some individuals seem to exhibit homosexual (as well as transgender) tendencies very early in childhood and without any apparent environmental influences in those directions.