Intimidation and the Choices That Successful Women

¶ … intimidation and the choices that successful women have in finding their partners.

There was a time when women were thought of as a second class citizen. Only men worked in offices, fought in wars, ruled countries etc., men were responsible for providing the basic needs of the family. On the other hand women did all the work at home such as laundry, cleaning dishes, cooking food etc. Women were not allowed to have a corporate career. However as the time passed, the concept of equal rights picked up. Feminists' movements and human rights activist have allowed women to redefine the purpose of living. The term "It's a Man's World" does not apply any more in the Western countries. Standards have changed along with the changing society.

The immediate questions that comes to mind after discussing the transformation of the society is that how have men responded to that change? Are they fine with the changing role of their female counterparts? Do they like to be the dominant partner in a relationship? Are they intimidated by successful women?

These questions have significance for people belonging to different walks of life. Many women are going through a tough phase because they are unable to find a mate because of their powerful positions in the society or high socio economic status. This is a generalization, but it can be easily said that successful corporate women have more problems in searching for a life partner than other women do.

It is important to clarify first about the definition of a successful woman. There are many different definitions of a successful woman. Broadly, a successful woman is one who is financially well off and independent, highly educated, strong willed, strongly opinioned, highly confident, and imposing. In most of the cases, women with these characteristics find extremely hard to form relationships.

Men from the early stages are taught that they are supposed to be the main man or the head of the family. In a way they are conditioned to take on the responsibility after a certain age. However the successful women can become the head of the family these days because of their ability to earn more and provide for more in the family. Men don't like being taken over by a woman as the head of the family, as this is a role which is conditioned in his mindset. A man spends most of his time planning in his teen ages regarding his role as the head of the family and suddenly if a woman steps in and becomes the main provider in the family; it attacks the self-esteem and essence of a man. Men naturally have a tendency to have more sense of power and pride than woman; they wish to be the sole provider and the head of the family. The shift in the family position does not go along well with men which causes intimidation.

Women having a powerful position or a high status in the society have an extremely difficult time finding men who do not have an issue with their status and are not intimidated by them. There are a lot of things that come with power; it gives the confidence to a woman to stand for her rights, dictate terms, dominate others etc. Hence there is a complete shift of attitude that comes along with a high status or a powerful position. Men do not like giving away their sense of superiority to women. All these traits and the attitude are not what men are trained to handle. Men are brought up in a certain way which conditions them in believing that they are superior to women. Religion, history and even society had portrayed men as the dominating partners and having superiority over women. Therefore, when they meet a woman who has a strong and dominating personality, men feel insecure about coping up with the shift in the paradigm of superiority.

Men have an innate drive for taking control in a relationship. There are a number of means though which men take a strong dominating step in taking a firm and superior position in a relationship. If a man is a head of a family and is the sole earner in the family, he can easily dictate terms on his wife or partner. He earns that control by knowing that he has the power to control the comforts of his partner such as clothes, car and even the lifestyle. When there is a successful partner, a man loses his control in a relationship to a certain extent. When this element is taken away from him, he realizes that he has to play his role in other areas as well such as washing, cleaning, taking care of kids etc. He also has to cope-up with fact that he won't have the final say in major decisions of the family. Some men are incapable of dealing with this lost control in relationships.

However, it will be harsh on the male community to say that all men are intimidated by strong and successful women. They are a number of men who wish to have partner who is successful and is able to make decisions on her own. Some men actually find these dominant traits of women attractive. Mostly these men are themselves quite successful and therefore they do not feel insecure about their partners' success as they themselves are secured about their own position in the society.

Successful and ambitious men take on the challenge of having a successful partner and the challenges that she could bring to their lives. Most of the successful men are intelligent and want to have intellectual people around them, so when they are choosing a life partner too they like to be with someone who has the same level of intellect.

This also hints at the possibility that men who are not so much successful or are not that confident about themselves feel insecure and intimidated by their successful women partners. Men not having the confidence in their own intellect are threatened by the intelligence of their female partners. Intimidation can also be linked with jealousy. The intimidation is actually a mask which men put on to hide their true feelings of jealousy.

One of the most important factors that play in the minds of the men while deciding to go for a relationship with a successful woman is "Peer Pressure." Peer pressure influences a lot of behaviors of men. A person is always influenced by the people around him and what their reactions would be to a decision. Mostly when men are thinking to form a relationship with a woman they discuss it with his friends and family. The friends and family knowing the consequences of having a successful woman partner suggests the man to give up his idea. This plays a lot in his mind that if he takes a decision against their will then the consequences could be severe.

One of the primary reasons for intimidation is the threat of being over powered. No man likes to be competing for "Manhood" with his partner. A great fear of a man is that he will have to fight for his dominance with his partner. There are many instances recently with the celebrities that have ordinary man as their partners, they have been fighting in public and the man is being harassed by the media for being incapable of handing his woman.