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Crisis of Asian Identity

I don't see what's so great about living in a neighborhood full of Asians. They're everywhere in Alhambra: in the markets, at the gas station, and on the streets. Even our mailman is Asian. On the surface Asians might not seem too bad, but they remind me too much of my family. At least in Hollywood, whenever I'd had enough of my family, I was able to leave the house to be with other people -- people who didn't remind me of the ugliness of my own.

In this passage, Lac makes it clear that he is experiencing a crisis of identity. In his heart, he is Asian but his complicated experience of living with his family, especially his father, made it hard for him to appreciate the Asian culture and identity. In the Asian culture, he now sees ugliness. By asking "what's so great about living in a neighborhood full of Asians," Lac is also taking a jab at other Asians who want to live in an Asian neighborhood and believe it is better to live there rather than with the rest of America. Lac certainly disagrees with them.

I believe, throughout his life Lac remained an Asian. When someone lives at different places and goes through experiences like Lac's, it is understandable that one may experience a crisis of identity. I can think of my own life, for example. Thankfully, I have never experienced as hard a life as Lac's and I have not been a victim of blatant racism (I though have experienced various kinds of prejudices). But I can still relate my life to his experience because of being between two cultures lately.

I am Korean, by birth and by culture. However, I was exposed to Western culture when I began to learn English and communicate with Americans. Koreans have historically been Buddhist, but I am Christian. And since coming to the United States, I have embraced more from American culture. I cannot say now that I am either fully Korean or fully American. I have both in my mentality and heart. I love both countries and wish them well. But sometimes it is hard to be in the middle. I like American respect for privacy and individual liberty, but too much individualism also bothers me. I grew up with traditional Korean appreciation for community concerns and involvement. On the other hand, I do not appreciate some older Korean traditional beliefs that place women on a lower social position. In the midst of such feelings, I can understand how one can experience a crisis of identity.