Grief Counseling Human Beings Need One Another

Grief Counseling

Human beings need one another in order to make things seem right and sane. Helping others in their time of need not only can help alleviate the stress from the person needing help, but also the person giving the help can also benefit greatly from this exercise. It seems that the human condition is designed to help each other.

The purpose of this paper is to describe the group counseling leader behaviors relating to a specific specialty group. For this essay, grief and loss counseling leadership traits will be examined to help explore some useful techniques and methods for approaching this type of problem and how to best solve it.

Specialty Group

I have chosen to examine grief therapy as a subject to evaluate. Grief is a reaction to loss that can encompass a range of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, and is experienced differently by each person according to his or her culture, background, gender, beliefs, personality, and relationship to the deceased or loss. Feelings common to grief are sadness and yearning. Guilt, regret, anger, and a sense of insignificance can also be present. Some may also a feel a sense of relief and freedom. Emotions can be surprising in their strength or mildness, contrary to the expectations of the griever; they can also be confusing, such as missing a painful relationship.

Thoughts during grief can vary from "there's nothing I can do about it" to "it's my fault, I could have done more" to "he had a good life" or "it wasn't her time." They can be upsetting or soothing, and people in grief can bounce between unlike thoughts as they make sense of their loss. Grieving behaviors run from crying to laughter, sharing feelings to engaging wordlessly in activities like cleaning, fixing, or exercising. They can involve being with others or by oneself.

The target population of this group includes everybody who knows someone due to the inevitability of death in the cycle of life. Shallcross (2012) suggested that "one of the most imperative things for counselors to understand about grief and loss is that although the experience of loss is universal, every individual's grief process is distinctive. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. Some people are more emotional and dive into their feelings while others are stoic and may seek distraction from dwelling on an unchangeable fact of living. Neither is better than the other, but if at any point one is concerned about whether one's grief-related feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are "normal" and "healthy," a consultation with a qualified mental health professional may be advised.

Role of the Group Leader

Understanding that notion of uniqueness and applying it in session as a counselor means there is no one "right" approach to grief-related counseling work. As the group leader, it is important to educate bereaved persons that the single most important thing they can do for themselves during their period of mourning is to allow themselves to completely grieve in their own way. There is no right way or right amount of time. The important thing is that they honestly look at what they are feeling, be it anger, sadness, guilt, etc., and that they share their thoughts and feelings with someone they trust -- a friend, family member, clergy, therapist, etc.

A good starting point for counselors is to take the role of witness and realize that the client is the expert. Group leaders need to maintain an presence of openness, flexibility and empathy. Death is mysterious and no one knows for sure what is lurking on the other side of consciousness, it is therefore useful for the group leader to be brave and show little fear and approach the sessions with an open mind.

Useful Techniques

There are many specific questions you can ask and techniques you can employ in assisting the bereaved with their grief process. Creating a helping environment by finding a quiet, private place to talk and by projecting warmth, interest and respect is a good start. When you speak of the deceased, use the past tense, use the deceased's name, and use words such as death, died, dead shows respect for the family. Beginning the first encounter with the bereaved by asking them to tell you about the death is a good way to start in most cases

Asking other questions related to the event can help guide the person suffering to a better place. Ask them about any funeral or memorial services or ask them what has been happening since the death. Other good techniques include how have things been with family/friends? Do they seem able to talk openly about the deceased? Ask about other difficult times in their life. If someone has responded to past losses that can tell a great deal about how they are likely to adjust to the current loss.

Examination of Two Approaches: Person Center Approach and Existential Approach

According to the NSPC, " the existential approach considers human nature to be open-ended, flexible and capable of an enormous range of experience. The person is in a constant process of becoming. I create myself as I exist. There is no essential, solid self, no given definition of one's personality and abilities." This mind frame can be very useful in seeing the big picture of life and death which is necessary during periods of bereavement. This approach, although is very idealistic, but emotional response to these types of assumptions about human life are important to incorporate during any group or individual session.