Violating dress code norms at an upscale restaurant

Implicit Norms

Violating a social norm was going out to eat with my family at a relatively nice restaurant. The implied social norm I decided to violate was one of etiquette. I decided to wear jeans and a t-shirt, instead of formal attire. The first social censuring I experienced was confronting the disapproving eyes and the attitude of my family. They first asked if I might feel comfortable if I changed my outfit, and when I refused, they used other forms of pressure, such as silence. However, when they realized I was not going to change my clothes, eventually they decided to ignore my ripped denim.

Before we were seated at the restaurant, I noticed that the hostess looked me over with a slightly frosty gaze. She did talk more to my parents than she did to me although that could partially be due to my age. I also think that my age may have been the reason that the waiter did not offer me a wine list. He asked if I wanted a soda, with a slightly patronizing tone. When he was reading the specials, which were fairly 'un-teen' friendly, such as red snapper and lamb, he looked at my parents rather than me. Finally, he offered me the lunch menu if I did not like anything that was listed on the dinner menu. I assume the lunch menu had some burgers and sandwiches. Again, it was difficult to tell if my clothing was the reason, or if it was my age.