Individual project overview and implementation

Constructive criticism is one of the most common phrases used by people in both the business and personal areas of their daily lives. Despite its apparent popularity, constructive criticism is often misused and abused, and little understood by either those who give or receive what they term to be 'constructive' criticism. Many times, any sort of criticism is described as "constructive," when in reality this type of criticism is not constructive at all, and is instead largely feedback that is focused on a personal, rather than job or professional, aspect (Arothe-Vaughn).

In the past year, I received some criticism from a coach in a non-competitive sport's league. The coach chose to comment on my inability to pass the ball, and suggested rather loudly and assertively that I should not be a "selfish ball hog." Instead, the coach clearly insinuated that I should pass the ball to my teammates, instead of "always hogging the ball," and "not ever giving anyone else a chance to score." The coach made these comments loudly in the middle of a game, and in clear earshot of my family, my teammates, and many of my friends from school. The coach's tone of voice was confrontational, aggressive, and clearly agitated and stressed. I was surprised by these comments from my usually calm coach, and did not respond, other than to nod my head, and blush furiously with embarrassment. I was deeply humiliated by the coach's loud comments, and wanted to immediately crawl under a rock. However, the end effect of the coach's public comments is that I was quickly embarrassed into passing the ball to my teammates.

I feel that the coach handled this conflict in a poor and completely unprofessional way. The coach violated important rules of giving constructive criticism by creating a great deal of stress for me, and significantly damaging our interpersonal relationship. Further, the coach violated several of the "golden rules" of constructive criticism by 1) not giving criticism in private, 2) focusing on my personality rather than the problem, 3) overstating the problem, and 4) sounding threatening (Arothe-Vaughn).

However, the coach also adhered to some methods that are consistent with the principles of constructive criticism. The coach gave the criticism soon after the event, and stuck to a single issue. Further, the coach's strategy reached the desired goal of getting me to pass the ball (Arothe-Vaughn).

A may have handled the conflict much better if I had tried to educate the coach on how to give truly constructive criticism. I could have taken the coach aside privately at the end of the game, and made a request that the coach speak to me privately about further coaching issues. In this way, I could have modeled constructive criticism, and hopefully helped change the coach's future behavior.

Further, I also violated many of the rules of receiving constructive criticism. For example, 1) I did not maintain eye contact or open body language, 2) I dismissed the criticism rather than listening, I viewed the criticism as a personal attack, 3) I did not focus on possible solutions, and 4) I did not restate the criticism to make sure I understood it. Perhaps the most importantly, I did not welcome the feedback, a shortcoming that may have further agitated my coach, and thus made the coach more threatening, loud and aggressive than the coach normal would have been (Arothe-Vaughn).